Two Week Update

I think it's done. The bedtime weaning is done. Tonight I put Emma to bed by myself and didn't nurse her, and neither of us cried!

Last week Tony had a dinner meeting with a client, so I had to put Emma to bed alone that night too. It was December 10, 2009. The last time I nursed Emma to bed. I tried to not nurse her but she was very upset and crying so I told her we could nurse for 10 minutes, then she would have to lay down in her bed. That worked, she went to bed willingly and didn't cry when I left her room.

Tonight I was afraid that she'd get upset again. She did ask to nurse several times but each time I said "remember we don't nurse at bedtime anymore." I read books to her instead and she drank her cup of water. Tony has been reading books to her at bedtime and I think she is really enjoying it, because we read four books tonight. After the 4th book I turned off the light and just rocked her and sang. She asked for the light a few times but wasn't upset and didn't ask to nurse again.

I sang and rocked for about 15 minutes, then told her it was goodnight time and laid her in her bed. She didn't cry! I was amazed. I'm a little sad but also very happy that we've established a new routine so fast that is happier for everyone.

One week

Monday was one week since I nursed Emma at night and put her to bed. Mostly I think it's going well. She seems to be adjusting just fine. Last night it only took Tony about 15 minutes to put her to bed. She cried a little when I said goodnight and left them in her room, but once I left she was fine.

I am feeling better now that she's doing well with it. I have much more energy in the evening and am actually getting things done quickly and still having time to relax. I am going to bed early or on time because I don't feel that I must stay up later to get things done.

I am also coming to realize that complete weaning is not too far off. So I'm really enjoying and appreciating the one time a day we do nurse. I am trying to memorize Emma's sweet face looking up at me, and how relaxed and warm her little body feels in my arms. I love to cradle her and hold her so close. I hope that I can continue to cradle her after we've weaned, whenever that does happen.

Bedtime weaning update

Tonight Daddy put Emma to bed without a fuss or a tear. From Emma that is. I am still sad. When we announced it was time for bed, she gave me several long looks, like she was wondering what I was going to do. But she went up with Daddy and never asked to nurse or cried when he put her to bed. I guess I am doing ok, I didn't cry through the whole bedtime tonight. I am still nursing at nap time and trying to enjoy and appreciate every minute of it. Today at nap time Emma fell asleep fairly quickly, within 10 minutes. But the first 4-5 times I tried to unlatch her, she woke up and asked to nurse more. So of course I did. I'm sure she was just trying to hang out since it's the only time we nurse now. My supply already has slow down so I'm not dealing with any discomfort.

#3

Tonight was the 3rd night a row that Tony put Emma to bed. She did great, hardly crying and going to sleep in record time. The fact that I'm not nursing her at bedtime really hit me hard tonight. I'm not sure why, but I feel extremely sad and I'm wishing that I hadn't initiated this next step in weaning.

I feel terrible that the last night I nursed her, Nov. 30, 2009, I didn't know it was the last time. I didn't remember it, appreciate it or enjoy it. I was tired, moody and irritated that she wanted to nurse for so long and when I finally put her in her bed I was very frustrated. I came downstairs and told Tony that I was done with bedtime, I couldn't do it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't have made such a big decision when I was upset. Probably shouldn't have. But I did. And now I don't know what to do about it.

Sure, I could change things back, start nursing her at night again. But I feel like that's not fair to Emma, and would be very confusing. Especially if I was just doing it so that I could say 'this is the last time'. I am still nursing her at naptime, so we haven't weaned completely. And knowing that I'm not nursing her at bedtime has made me more aware of cuddling Emma and holding her close during the day. And it's good for Tony and Emma to have some bedtime cuddles together. I shouldn't get all the love at bedtime.

But this is a huge change for Emma and for me. We've been nursing for almost two years and I love the bond that it has built between us. We worked so hard in the beginning to get this going. I wish I could keep it going until Emma was ready to stop, but I'm just wearing out too soon to do that.

Today

Today has been ok. Since we still have only one car, and Tony had a meeting up north at 9am, I was not able to take Emma to Mother's Day Out. I spent a lot of time trying to connect with her, playing with her and reading to her. She seems to be fine, she's been happy, playing well and eating well. At her nap time we did nurse. She was very content and nursed for about 15 minutes and feel asleep. I was ready for her to nurse too. After skipping last night, my left side was starting to hurt. I think it will take about to week for my milk supply to go down, and then I won't have the discomfort. I am still sad thinking that we are another step closer to completely weaning, but then a part of me is also feeling some relief. I know the nights will be hard for a while until Emma adjusts to her Daddy putting her to bed. I hope that it won't be too long before we can both put her to bed peacefully without nursing. It would be nice to take turns and share the bedtime duties.

Weaning Update

Tonight I did not nurse Emma at bedtime. Instead, Tony read to her, rocked her, and put her to bed. It was very hard. Emma was upset and crying at times, as was I. She called for me repeatedly and asked to nurse. Tony was able to calm her down and she did eventually go to sleep.

I have really been feeling burned out on nursing and the whole bedtime routine lately. After we cut back in the summer I hoped that as Emma got older she would start to lose interest on her own, but instead she asks to nurse more than the 2 times a day we have been. At night she wants to nurse for 30-45 minutes and that just leaves me feeling tired and drained. By the time I'd get her to bed I would be frustrated and tired and there wasn't much evening time left for me to have to myself. I started to limit the nursing to about 15 or 20 minutes, but then Emma would be very upset, and so I'd lay down on the floor by her crib to be near her until she fell asleep. But I ran out of patience for that, so I'd have to sneak out of her room.

I have conflicting feelings about stopping the bedtime nursing. On the one hand I feel that Emma really needs that connection to me. But then I am feeling so tired and a little bit trapped by it. I feel guilty that my own needs are conflicting with Emma's needs. I wish I wasn't feeling this way, that I could keep nursing Emma as much as she wants. But at some point I have to take my own needs into consideration. That's just a very hard thing to do, when your baby is crying and you have to make the hard decision.

Emma's blanket

Finally, it is done! I have finished Emma's baby blanket! The pattern I used is called Tender Blankie. It's very basic and easy. I used US size 7 knitting needles and for the border I used an I9 (5.5mm) crochet hook. I decided to do something bright with lots of color. The pattern calls for 4 knitted squares in the same color to be knitted, sewn together and then a border added. I decided to do each block in a different color, and the border in another color. I picked red, yellow, green and blue for the blocks, and purple for the border.

The blanket is approximately 18-18.5 inches square. The blue and green blocks became stretched out as I was knitting them so it's not a perfect square. I didn't understand the instructions for the border so I made up my own border. That's why I took so long to finish it, I was trying to decide how to finish it up. This is a small blanket. I wanted something small for Emma to be her snuggle or lovey blanket. Here are a few pictures.

Overwhelmed and Unfullfilled

I'm feeling so overwhelmed these days. Being a stay-at-home mom and a wife is so much work and I'm never off. Even when I'm on a break, I'm really still on call. I just can't keep up with the daily and never ending chores. And then there is other stuff that comes up, like dealing with the insurance co. and paperwork since my accident. I don't know what is worse, the daily stuff or the new stuff that is life that pops up constantly. I feel that I'd be able to manage the stuff of life better if I didn't have the daily chores. The never ending line of meals and snacks to be cooked, served, cleaned up, planned, and shopped for. If I never go into another grocery store again...

I just wonder, is this it? Diapers, cooking, cleaning, day after day after day? For the last 664 days what else have I done? I love Emma, I love Tony. I love staying at home, but I just feel that I am running out of steam. I wish I could do something for myself to feel useful, interesting, like a person again. How I can keep this up through another pregnancy and baby? We want at least one more, and if I had #2 exactly 40 weeks from today then Emma would be almost 3 years older. And if we had a #3, then I'd be home for about 8 years at least. I know that one day I'll go back to work. It doesn't really make sense to do that right now when we are planning for another baby. But it's not just a job that I am missing. I'm missing me, the person I was, or thought I was.

Part of the issue is that my social life completely changed when Emma was born. Certain friends I have not heard from again, others only occasionally. But even Tony and I don't have the same relationship, or same amount of time for each other. I try to make new friends with other moms, and I have. I just feel so not like myself this week, that anything positive is lost right now.

Birthday Flowers

Yesterday was my birthday! Tony and Emma took me to dinner, and we had
chocolate cake for dessert. Emma also picked out a balloon and these
lovey pink roses for me.

Wrecked

Last Wednesday I had a wreck. I was on my way to have lunch with my sister. It had been raining earlier in the morning and the road was still wet, although it was not raining at the time. I hit a wet spot and started to slide, then lost control of the car. I crossed over three lanes of traffic, jumped the curb and crashed into the guardrail. The lady behind me stopped and called the police. She was very nice, stayed with me the whole time. It took almost 30 minutes for the police to arrive, but finally an officer showed up. He was really nice. Said it was not my fault, he'd seen this more times that he could count. The lady behind me said that it looked just like I hit a patch of ice and went sliding.

The wreck was bad and good, depending on how you look at it.

Good:
Emma was not in the car.
No other cars were involved. This was a miracle considering it was 11:30am on a busy South Austin highway.
I walked away without a scratch. Just a little neck pain the next day. The guardrail saved me from plunging over the side of the road onto the highway below.
The officer did not cite me, said it wasn't my fault.

Bad:
I totaled the Trailblazer. The total damage is just $800 shy of the value of the car.
We can't afford another car payment without giving up something else. Like Emma's Kid's Day Out.
We *JUST* bought a new car for Tony 4 weeks ago. This is what makes me the most sick.

We aren't sure what we are going do right now. The insurance company will pay us for the Trailblazer, so we have that. But it's not enough to buy another vehicle outright, even used. I don't want to empty out our savings to buy another car so that we only have one payment.

Today I went to the body shop to get all the rest of our stuff out of the vehicle. A few cd's of children's music (Emma has been asking for E-I-O (Old MacDonald)), spare change, miscellaneous papers out of the glove box. I even found an Elmo book under the seat. It was really sad, the poor Trailblazer sitting in a graveyard of wrecked cars. That was the nicest car we'd own until just last month when we got Tony's Accord. Anyway, I said goodbye and took a few pictures.

I have been feeling really bad about the accident. I feel like I screwed up our finances. I feel like I should take Emma out of her school to save money, but I can't bring myself to do that. I need to have that time, but then I feel guilty for that. I feel a big fat pity party starting so I'm going to sign off now.

Nuse! Nuse!

A couple of nights ago I was putting Emma to bed when she kept repeating "nuse, nuse" over and over. She was pretty agitated and I didn't understand what she was telling me. I thought maybe she was trying to tell me something about her nose, but she can say nose really well and this was different. Sometimes I guess I can be a little thick headed, because I didn't get it until Emma signed 'nurse' and then I got it! She was asking to nurse, but she just can't get her r's out yet.

She is really talking so much now. She calls me mommy and it just feel so good! I love being her mommy!

My time? Not quite.

Emma has been in her Kid's Day Out program for 2 weeks now. That's 4 times that I have dropped her off and had a 4 hour chunk of time. So what have I done with this time?

#1. Spent the entire time and then some shopping for and buying a new car. It was a necessary chore but it was made easier by the fact that Emma was at KDO. I'd like to take this time to say goodbye to my little Escort, my first car that I bought right out of college, with my own money. Farewell little blue car, you served me well!

#2. On this day I was not feeling good at all, so I stayed home hoping to get better faster. I just did a few things around the house, but mostly rested on the couch.

#3. This day was better. After dropping Emma off I came home, did a few things around the house, then went to the mall. I did a little shopping/running of errands but then got my makeup done at Dillards. It was really nice to be pampered a bit, and then I met Tony for lunch.

#4. More running around. Went to the grocery store, Target and Babies R Us. By the time I got home, put away all the groceries and ate lunch, I had about 40 minutes before I needed to pick Emma up.

Clearly, I need to think more about how I want to spend this time and what I want to accomplish. It is nice to run errands by myself, but some of these things I can certainly do with Emma. I'd like to go to the gym, spend time in the yard, and work on my photo and knitting projects. Emma really does not like the gym daycare, so I think I need to work out while she is at KDO. So this next week I hope to do something besides running errands. I already plan to have lunch with my sister, so that will be fun. Also, I've got an eye dr appointment on Monday, and I definitely need to do that without Emma. My goal is to make it to the gym and do some yard work, depending on the weather.

View from the cheap seats!

$2.35

Today I managed to make it to one garage sale, despite the rainy weather. I am always looking for more books and toys for Emma, and also clothes. We were all out together this morning so Tony and Emma were along for the treasure hunt. I didn't find anything too exciting but any time I get new books and toys for Emma for $2.35, it's a good day.

We found 5 books, including one Elmo and one Ernie book, .25 cents each, so of course Emma loves them.

We also found a nice big book of shapes and colors with lots of flaps to lift up for $1.00. Emma loves those type of books. Also found a Winnie the Pooh book, .50 cents, and a potty book for girls, .25 cents.

I was about to leave when I saw a Playskool barn for .10 cents! It only had the cow figure with it, but we already have the matching tractor at home along with the chicken and pig, so I was happy to get the barn. It plays a few songs including Twinkle Twinkle. Plus I found a Fisher Price Little Person and they just threw that into the mix. Emma loves these little toys and I've become a bit obsessed with finding more Little People for her.

One of Those Days

It's one of those days when Emma eats more cat food off the floor than anything I put on her plate.

It's one of those days when I wash the cover of the changing table pad for the first time 6 weeks, and then poop gets on it at the very next diaper change.

It's one of those days when there is nothing I want to eat in the house even though I just went to the store 3 days ago.

It's one of those days when the smell of cat crap hits me before I get to the bottom of the stairs.

It's one of those days when Tony is out of town and Emma is getting sick.

It's one of those days when I wash 4 loads of laundry but still don't have a clean bra.

It's one of those days when it's over 100 degrees.

It's one of those days when I want to let Emma watch TV all day long but my head will explode if I hear Elmo's voice one more time so I can't.

It's one of those days when I find out Emma's in the Kid's Day Out Program and it starts Sept. 7, but it's not the days I wanted.

It's one of those days when Emma gives me lots of hugs and kisses and we have a good time together when I stop trying to do other stuff and just give her all my time and attention.

Five weeks

This week makes five weeks in a row that I have gone to the gym. Just once a week, but it's something. Emma goes to the kid's center to play while I'm on the treadmill. I started out just walking but now I do some running too. I usually walk/run between 1.5 and 2 miles. I would like to go to a yoga class soon, it's free with my membership. Maybe next week I'll make it to yoga.

I'm still not done with Emma's blanket. I have slacked off and I don't know why. I also have a sweater project that has been sitting for a couple of months. I've been working on the sweater the last few days but not making a lot of progress. I am feel a lack of mental stimulation and that makes it harder to concentrate on the knitting. I guess after reading Goodnight Moon 10 times a day and watching Sesame Street my brain has turned to mush a little bit. I need something new to kick start it. Maybe a good book, but I've got a stack of books to read already.

I think I need a night (or a day) off but that seems very unlikely to happen any time soon. I had hoped to get Emma into a Mother's Day out program for 2 mornings a week, but I think my plans for that have been foiled. The church doesn't have anyone to run the program yet and it's supposed to start Aug. 31. If it doesn't work out this year then I'll try to get Emma into a preschool program for next fall.

Emma's Dress

This post is long overdue, but better late than never! I finally finished knitting Emma's Fiona Baby Sundress. I started this project in April, and finished on June 26th, just in time for Emma to wear her dress for her 18 month pictures on June 27th. This was a hard pattern for me to get started on. I ended up ripping it out several times before I got it right. The pattern starts at the bottom of the dress, and you knit up. The straps gave me a bit of trouble as well. I ended up attaching them too far out and they barely sat on Emma's shoulders, so I had to cut them off and knit new straps, and reattached them the night before Emma's pictures. Nothing like waiting until the last minute! The dress was on the big side, and I was concerned it looked like Emma was wearing a sack. So I knitted about an arm's length of the brown yarn and then threaded that through two places on the back of the waist to make a tie. That helped gather the skirt a bit and made it fit better.

I also got creative and crocheted a little blue flower to match the dress that Emma wore in her hair. The dress really turned out great and I'm really happy with it. Emma hasn't worn it again. It's a bit hot with the 100+ degree weather we have been having, but I'm hopeful she can wear it more this fall. And it's pretty long and with adjustable straps, so I hope she can wear it for a couple of years at least.

Yarn: 4 hanks of Cascade Luna in color Sky, 1 hank of Cascade Luna in color Chocolate.
Needles: Size 7 US 16" circular needle, size 7 US double pointed needles, cable needle.
Gauge: 5 stitches/5.5 rows per inch

Shy little Lillypoots!

First ripe tomato!

So I actually have tomatoes to eat now, and Emma loves them!

Weaning Update

The last week has been a difficult one. I have completely stopped nursing Emma when she wakes during the night. There were some rough nights with lots of crying, from Emma and Mommy. One night (or morning really) she was up from 3-5:30 crying and wanting to nurse. I tried to rock her and walk with her, and offered her water. I tried to explain that at night everyone goes to bed, and there is no nursing. But I don't think she can really understand that yet. But the last two nights she has made it all night without waking up.

After we stopped the night nursing, a few days later we stopped the morning nursing too. Emma is getting up pretty early, usually about 6:45. I bring her downstairs and offer her a yogurt drink and other food for breakfast. I do miss snuggling in our bed with her, but I know one day again we can do that when she is older and won't associate it with nursing. She still asks to nurse every morning and at various times during the day. But now we are down to just naptime and bedtime.

I do hope that my body will notice the decrease in nursing and stop making so much milk. I am still feeling so full and of course my left side is still an overachiever in the milk production.

Overall I think that Emma is adjusting well. I'm sad and miss the extra quiet and cuddle time that each nursing opportunity gives us. I am not at all ready to cut out another nursing session yet. I don't even know how I would do that, I think she will be very opposed to stopping our before nap and bed time nursings.

The "I Have" List

I am a list maker. Grocery store, Target, Mall, things to do, places to go, craft projects, home improvement projects; these are all lists that I make frequently. They are all wish lists in some way. Wishes for a nice home and yard, wishes for good things to eat, wishes for clothes, toys, etc. The goal is to make a list, then cross the item off when I get what I want. Lately I've been having a lot of "I wants". But when I get what I want, I still want more. So I'm making an "I Have" List. These things won't be crossed off; these are things that I wanted and now have, and I need to remember, appreciate and cherish them.

I have a wonderful husband who would and does so much for me!
I have a beautiful daughter that makes me smile and laugh everyday!
I have two sweet kitties that love me even if they never show it and always make a terrible mess in the litterbox.
I have a nice home that we do take care of and improve when we can, a little bit here and there.
I have clothes and shoes to wear everyday.
I have food to cook and eat everyday.
I have yarn to knit and make things with.

I write this not to brag but to thank the Lord for his blessings. We had a wonderful weekend with family and friend and for that I am very thankful!

Weaning

We are talking about weaning Emma, actually have been for some time. I have a lot of thoughts and feeling on the subject. I'm pretty conflicted about it. Emma is now 18 months old and I've been feeling pressure to wean her for at least 6 months. I would love to nurse her until she weans gradually on her own but we'd also like to have another baby soon, and the nursing is keeping that from happening.

So we have been cutting back for a few months. We now only nurse 3 times a day, and occasionally during the night if she wakes up. Just a few months ago we were still nursing 7-8 times a day and more at night. I think part of that was because she was teething. She got about 8 teeth with in two months so she wanted to nurse all the time. Even though we are only nursing in the morning, at nap time and bed time, she asks to nurse at other times in the day. It's hard to distract her from this but I am trying. I'd love to just cuddle her and give her some milk or water but it seems like she can't sit in my lap without wanting to nurse. And she does not like cow's milk at all. I've also tried soy milk but this girl just wants water or breastmilk!

I don't know why she still has such a great interest in nursing. I play with her a lot and try to bond with her in other ways but she still wants to nurse. I feel guilty for trying to wean her when she still has this great need. We worked so hard in the beginning to get the nursing to work so part of me doesn't want to let that go.

I am going to try to drop another nursing session this week. Not sure if the morning or nap time session is better, but I imagine either one will be hard. How do I get her to sleep without nursing? I can't rock her without her wanting to nurse. I wish my milk supply would decrease but it's still going strong. If I drop the morning session, I will miss snuggling with her in our bed as she nurses. She's so sweet and still when she nurses! She just looks up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and touches my face so softly.

I am afraid of really hurting her in some way by weaning before she's ready. I don't want her to harbor bad feelings toward me. But part of me feels that it is time, that I want to wean her. I just wish it would be easy. But it's not going to be, so I have to be strong and focused and just do it. But which part of me is right? See, I'm just conflicted in my feelings and it makes it very hard to figure out what is right, what I really want to do. I guess I really just need to pray about this and give it to God, and hopefully that will help me figure this out.

My Chloe Kitty!

Two of my baby tomatoes!

My lantana is blooming!

What is it?

I am feeling something that I'm not sure what it is. Melancholy? Sadness? Faithless? Something is off but I'm not sure what or what to do about it. Generally things are good. Hubby and I are doing great. Emma is the most wonderful little girl and I love her so much! But I feel...something. Disconnected? I don't know. I do feel behind. Behind in knitting, behind in posting, behind in taking video and pictures of Emma, behind in finding my freaking camera that has been lost for weeks, behind in housework, behind in keeping up with my friends, behind in paying any attention to my kitties. There is just not enough time in the day for everything I want to do. And some things that I have to do take a lot of time, even if I don't want to do them. Sigh.

What an uplifting post huh? The faithless word up there is getting to me. I haven't lost my faith in God, have I? I don't think so. But I sure wonder why such terrible things happen and He lets them. Is it to show us that we could be a better world if we choose to be? That it's up to us? But why us, why doesn't He just make it a better world? What can I do to make it better? I think that's it, I am wondering what I'm supposed to me doing. Is God calling me to do something and I'm just not hearing it? I get so upset reading about terrible things that happen everyday, to people all over the world. To children, to babies, to moms and dads and old people and animals. I suppose I should stop reading them, but I still know they are happening.

I hate this feeling of uncertainty. I really don't like this post much either, but I guess I'll publish it. Maybe I will go read my Bible and it'll make me feel better. But I'll probably just go to bed, after cleaning up the kitchen, scooping the litterbox, and washing Emma's diapers.

17 months old today!

She likes to wear my big hair clip but not her own little ones. This
morning she put on her croc shoes all by herself.

Emma in the pool!

She loved it, especially when we took her out of the float and just
held her in the water. She loves to kick her legs in the water!

Emma's kitchen

Garage Sales!

I love shopping garage sales! Today I decided to check out a sale that I found listed online. I found two great items for Emma. First, a Little Tikes kitchen, complete with food and dishes! It was only $25 and in very good condition. I also found a Crayola two sided easel, chalkboard on one side and dry erase/magnetic board on the other, for only $15. You can see pictures on our family site, linked on the left.

I have some rearranging to do upstairs before I can set up the kitchen, but I know Emma will love it and get lots of use out of it. I just love garage sales because buying new toys is so expensive. And I feel good that I'm reusing an existing item. It's good for me and the environment!

A Little Gardening

I just did a little tending to my garden (during Emma's nap of course). My tomato plants were looking a bit yellow but hopefully the nice watering I just gave them will help. I also pulled a lot of weeds and grass out of the bed. My pecan tree has new growth on it, but it's only 3 inches tall so it'll be a long time before I can consider it a successful plant. My fig tree has tiny baby figs on it! I don't know if they'll grow enough to be edible this year but at least I haven't killed it yet!

I really wish we had something in the backyard for Emma to play on. I've been looking on Craigslist and have found a few things, but by the time I contact the seller the item is gone. I've found one little playscape with a slide on Amazon that's only $150, plus tax and shipping. That's about the best deal I've found for something new. I really hope to get something for her soon, so she'll stop playing on the steps. I'm afraid she's going to fall again and hit her head. Or just walk right off the patio.

My fig tree:

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.



So this is my first Not Me Mondays post, so here goes!

So, a couple of weeks ago, I took Emma to breakfast at Rudy's, for breakfast tacos. We had a good time, and then I totally did not lock her in the car. With my keys. And my cell phone. I did not have to ask a stranger to borrow his phone to call my husband. He totally didn't alert the 8 cops inside of Rudy's eating breakfast that a crazy woman locked her kid and keys in the car. Nope, not me!

Yesterday, Emma and I attended the 100th birthday party of my great-aunt Lil. I totally did not show up with Emma's shoes on the wrong feet. My cousin didn't point this out to me in front of various members of my extended family, all whom didn't laugh at me. Nope, didn't happen!

I do not spend most of Emma's nap watching TV and lamenting about how messy my house is, if I only had time to clean up. I do not spend the rest of Emma's nap eating ice cream, cake, chips, and any other food that I can find. No way, I only eat at meal times people!

That's all for now, see you next Monday when I'll tell you about the other things I don't do!

Lots of Stuff

I've got so many things on my mind lately. Today is one year since my friend Jamie passed away. She was only 35. We worked together at the Museum and the Capitol and became friends. She left the Capitol in October of 2006, and then of course I got pregnant in April 2007, so we didn't see each other much after that. In fact, I only saw her one other time in 2007. We did keep in touch with MySpace and email, and a few weeks before she died we talked about getting together so she could met Emma. It never happened. She died at her apartment sometime between 11:40pm on 4/20/08 and 12:15am on 4/21/08. She even called 911 but by the time they arrived she was beyond help. I didn't know any of her other friends or family, so I never found out what exactly happened. So I'm thinking of Jamie, and how fragile life is.

I hate to be negative and depressing, but it's my blog and I need to vent. I keep reading about such terrible things happening. Husbands killing their wives and children, a guy drinking and driving a car full of children into a ditch and the children, some babies, drowning while the SOB driving the car gets out! How can he get out of the car but not keep it on the freaking road?? Children going missing, being killed by strangers and even family members. It's horrible and really testing my faith. Why are people so evil? And sorry to be sexist but it seems to be 99% men doing these terrible things. But then we do have the cases of moms killing their children too. So are these people messed up because they weren't treated right as children? How can we stop the cycle?

And now the cat's puking so I need to go clean that. Consider yourself lucky that I didn't have time to finish my whole rant!

My rose bush with lots of blooms!

My Plant Medley Mix!

My Lillipoots

Noah's Baby Blanket

Last month I finished a baby blanket for my cousin Kelli's first born, a little boy named Noah. I finished the blanket and got it in the mail the day before his due date, and he was right on time! This blanket was done in crochet, and was 27 inches by 24 inches when completed. I used a soft baby blue for a solid color blanket, but then for the border I used a variegated white with green, purple, yellow and blue. I actually did something a little different on the border and was able to give it a bit of body. I hate to use the word ruffle, but that's close. It's just a bit of fluff around the edge. Kelli seems to like it so I am happy it's done. Now I really am going to make a blanket for my Emma. I haven't picked out the yarn yet but I hope to soon. I am excited that I am going to take a little class and learn to knit a baby hat in the round. I'll post pictures when that's done. If I can learn to make a baby hat in a short time frame, then I will still be able to give homemade baby gifts, before the babies aren't babies anymore!

Threesomes (A Survey)

Here's a fun survey!

Three Names I have been called
Ronda, R2D2, Missy RoRo

Three Jobs I have had in my life
Receptionist, Purchasing Coordinator, Mom

Three Places I have lived
West, Austin, no #3

Three TV Shows that I watch
Battlestar Galactica, LOST, How I Met Your Mother

Three Movies I love
Dances with Wolves, Night Crossing, Gone with the Wind

Three Places I have been
Belize, Washington D.C., San Diego

Three Places I want to go
Greece, England, Hawaii

Three People I talk to regularly
Laura, Tony, my Mom

Three Foods I like to eat
Pizza, Seafood, Italian

Last Three Restaurants I went to
Chuy's, Pei Wei, Fogo de Chao

Three Things I am looking forward to
watching Emma grow, having more kids, one day taking a vacation

Three Things I did today
washed dishes, cleaned cat puke, made dinner

Three Drinks I love
diet Dr Pepper, wine, orange juice

Three Desserts I love
apple pie, chocolate cake, brownies

New Year

Today I am taking time while Emma naps to write. I'd like to try to blog once a month this year, so we'll see how I do at the end of 2009.

Emma is turning into such a little toddler! Today I grabbed my new iphone to take her picture when she was walking around, carrying a sippy cup in each hand, holding her Winne-the-Pooh birthday balloon (it still has air) and dragging behind her a green balloon she got last week from the grocery store. Unfortunately I did not get a good picture. I am not too happy with the camera on my iphone. If Emma moves even slightly, the picture is a blur and when I snap the camera, it has about a 2 second delay for the picture to take. And Emma is never still for long, so I don't have a lot of good pictures of her. I miss that about my Sprint camera phone. It took ok pictures and fast, without a delay.

Tonight I am going to a knitting gathering of some moms from my Attached Parenting group. We are meeting at this place called the Knitting Nest, were you can bring food and drink and sit around knitting. I hope to finish another baby blanket this week, so this will be a good time to work on it. It'll be a good chance for me to take a break, and give Tony some good time with Emma. Once this blanket is done then I will start on Emma's blanket.

My 9 minute survey

Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

starting time: 5:46pm

Name: Ronda

sisters: 1

brothers: 1

Eye Color: blue

Shoe size: 7

Height: 5' 6"

What are you wearing right now? jeans, socks, ut anthropology tshirt

Where do you live? Austin

Favorite Number: 7

Favorite Drink: diet Dr. Pepper

Favorite Month: October, May

Favorite Breakfast: eggs, waffles, pancakes, bacon, cooked by someone else

***********Have You Ever***********

Broken a bone: no

Been in a police car: no

Been on a plane: Yes

Been in a hot tub: Yes

Swam in the ocean: yes

Fallen asleep in school: Yes

Broken someone’s heart: yes

Cried when someone died?: Yes

Fell off your chair: Yes

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yes

Saved e-mails: Yes

Been cheated on: Yes

***********What is************

Your room like? too much big furniture crammed in, but with a nice new bedspread on the bed.

Whats right beside you? a stack of emma's clean diapers

What is the last thing you ate? tuna steak with baked sweet potato

———————-Ever Had- ————————-

Chicken pox: Yes

Sore throat: Yes

Stitches: Yes

Broken nose: No

————————-Do You————————–

Believe in love at first sight?: Yes

Like picnics: Yes


————————–Who—————————

was the last person you danced with? Tony

last made you smile? Emma

Did you last yell at? Chloe cat

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? both, mostly contacts

———-Final Questions————-

What are you listening to right now? football playoffs on tv, tony reading to emma.

What did you do today? made lunch, washed dishes, washed clothes, the usual.

Hate someone in your family? no

Good singer: Not really, but i still like to!

Diamond or pearl? diamond

Are you the oldest?: Nope

Indoors or outdoors? indoors

——————Today did you———————-

1. Talk to someone you like? Yes

2. Kiss anyone? yes

3. Get sick? no

4. Sing: no

5. Talk to an ex? no

6. Miss someone: no

7. Eat: Yes

—————-Last person who——————

8. You talked to on the phone? Laura

9. Made you Cry? i don't know

10. Went to the movies with: tony

11. You went to the mall with? tony, last night on our date!

——————Have you——————-

19. Been to Mexico? Yes

20. Been to Canada? no

——————-Random——————–

21. Have a crush on someone: no

22. What books are you reading right now: Nursing Your Growing Toddler.

23. Best feeling in the world: Watching Emma learn new things and getting hugs and kissed from her.

24. Future kids names: this is a touchy subject!

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No

26. What’s under your bed: a few random cat toys that I can't reach and some ponytail holders.

27. Favorite sport(s) to watch: college football.

28. Favorite location: don't know. not sure I've been there yet.

32. Who do you really hate? i try not to.

33. Do you have a job? yes

35. Ever liked someone you didn’t have a chance with? probably but can't remember.

36. You lonely right now? no

37. What time is it now? 5:55pm

With however long it took you to complete this, post as
“my 9 minute survey"