Friday, April 30, 2010

Sunday, April 25, 2010


We are almost weaned. We haven't nursed since Wednesday. Thursday at nap time Emma asked to nurse but I refused her for the first time. I tried to explain that there was no more mommy milk and instead I would cuddle her and read her stories. She was ok, she didn't cry or protest. She just made a pouting face and said "aw". But she hasn't been sleeping well since then at all. She has woken up the last 3 nights about 3am, crying and very upset. She doesn't ask to nurse but I think she is upset, but just doesn't know how to explain herself. And Friday night and Saturday night she has been asking to nurse at bedtime. She doesn't get upset but she does pout her lip and slightly whine a bit. I am trying to give her lots of extra cuddles but I have no idea what she is thinking and I'm afraid that I'm doing some silent psychological damage to her. Maybe I am surprised that she's not crying or protesting when I refuse her. But the not sleeping and crying at night just has me worried.

I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I miss it and I know she does too. But I really don't think I have any milk left and it hurts a lot to nurse. My breasts don't seem to be engorged so that's good. I just feel so sad about it, but I feel like it's been 4 days so we should keep going. I think I'm mostly sad because it means she really is growing up and she's not my baby anymore. If she had protested even the slightest bit more or asked repeatedly, I would have probably given in. Who knows, tomorrow I may cave. If she cries or asks repeatedly at nap time I might. I know this process can be a bit back and forth, so it wouldn't mean we were going back to everyday. I am trying to remember everything about Wednesday, April 21, in case that really was the last time we nursed.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Albino bluebonnet

There were about six in a small area along the service road in West,
Tx. This one was the prettiest and fullest of the six.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Nursing while Pregnant

I'm almost 16 weeks now! Emma is still nursing at nap time, but has begun to skip some days here and there. I think we are getting closer to weaning. Honestly I could probably just tell her no and she'd be mostly fine, I think. I may have to do this soon, as it is starting to hurt to nurse. The first 12 weeks were not a problem, but now I'm really sore. The right side is worse than the left, but I'm still alternating sides each time we nurse.

I'm also feeling the baby move quite a bit now. It's mostly flutters, but I know it's the baby. I feel like I have just gotten off a roller coaster, and my stomach is doing flips. It's really unsettling and still makes me nauseous. I hope as the baby gets bigger the flutters will go away and I'll just feel regular baby movements. I don't remember being so affected by the movements with Emma once I was past 16 weeks.

I'm finally starting to show a bit. My maternity pants are still too big, but regular pants are too tight. So I've been wearing yoga pants for weeks now. Also, I'm back from an A cup to a C cup, in just about 4 weeks. That was fast!