Weaning

We are talking about weaning Emma, actually have been for some time. I have a lot of thoughts and feeling on the subject. I'm pretty conflicted about it. Emma is now 18 months old and I've been feeling pressure to wean her for at least 6 months. I would love to nurse her until she weans gradually on her own but we'd also like to have another baby soon, and the nursing is keeping that from happening.

So we have been cutting back for a few months. We now only nurse 3 times a day, and occasionally during the night if she wakes up. Just a few months ago we were still nursing 7-8 times a day and more at night. I think part of that was because she was teething. She got about 8 teeth with in two months so she wanted to nurse all the time. Even though we are only nursing in the morning, at nap time and bed time, she asks to nurse at other times in the day. It's hard to distract her from this but I am trying. I'd love to just cuddle her and give her some milk or water but it seems like she can't sit in my lap without wanting to nurse. And she does not like cow's milk at all. I've also tried soy milk but this girl just wants water or breastmilk!

I don't know why she still has such a great interest in nursing. I play with her a lot and try to bond with her in other ways but she still wants to nurse. I feel guilty for trying to wean her when she still has this great need. We worked so hard in the beginning to get the nursing to work so part of me doesn't want to let that go.

I am going to try to drop another nursing session this week. Not sure if the morning or nap time session is better, but I imagine either one will be hard. How do I get her to sleep without nursing? I can't rock her without her wanting to nurse. I wish my milk supply would decrease but it's still going strong. If I drop the morning session, I will miss snuggling with her in our bed as she nurses. She's so sweet and still when she nurses! She just looks up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and touches my face so softly.

I am afraid of really hurting her in some way by weaning before she's ready. I don't want her to harbor bad feelings toward me. But part of me feels that it is time, that I want to wean her. I just wish it would be easy. But it's not going to be, so I have to be strong and focused and just do it. But which part of me is right? See, I'm just conflicted in my feelings and it makes it very hard to figure out what is right, what I really want to do. I guess I really just need to pray about this and give it to God, and hopefully that will help me figure this out.