Emma turns one!

Today my daughter turned one year old! It's been such a great year! Looking back, I am most thankful for our nursing relationship. In the beginning it was so hard! I had to deal with lots of pain, infections, allergic reactions to medications, clogged ducts, blisters, and more pain. But it has been worth it! I know I am so connected and bonded to Emma because of our nursing, and she is just as connected to me! In the beginning we nursed for immunity and nourishment. Now we also nurse to connect, relax, and bond. I love to look at her sweet face as she nurses and know that I'm not only feeding her, but also giving her so much love. She may be 1 year old, but she is still very young and she needs me, and I think she needs to continue to nurse. I want to continue this part of our relationship too. I want to let her wean gradually, at her own pace, but also within a time frame that I am comfortable with. I know it's just something we will need to work out together.

Happy birthday Emma! You are the light in my life and the center of my heart!

Baby Blanket

Well I finally finished a baby blanket for a friend who's baby was born in March. I know it's ridiculous that it takes me so long, but I am not very fast with crochet. This blanket measures 26.75 by 29.75 inches. I used a size K hook and I think I started with about 120 stitches. It was so long ago that I started this blanket, it's hard to remember exactly. I hope to get this blanket in the mail tomorrow.

Emma is 10 months old!

Today Emma is ten months old! She is such a happy baby! She loves to be outside now that the weather has turned so beautiful the last few weeks. She loves to read and she will sit with her books and open them and turn the pages. She talks to the books and her other toys too. She likes to crawl under the kitchen table and hide, and then come crawling out as fast as she can, laughing the whole time. She’s learning to feed herself with her hands, and she prefers that to being fed with a spoon. She’s also now sleeping for 11 hours straight at night!! I never thought that would happen! She is also taking a lot of steps while holding onto the furniture. She says ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ and ‘kidy’, which I think means kitty. I have taught her how to do a back flip off my lap. She loves it! I tell her “want to do a flip?”, and she immediately starts to lean to back. I hold her hands and her legs go over her head and then she hops to the ground! Then she crawls up to my lap and wants to do it again.

I want to take this opportunity to record some of Emma’s nicknames that we have used in the last 10 months. The first one was Baby Poots of course, which our family blog is named after. We also called her Bean Bean before she was born, based on her shape during the first ultrasound. Once she arrived and we named her, Emmerkins became the nickname of choice. And then when we had so many problems learning to breastfeed (both Emma and I) I came up with “Little Miss Milk Maid” and “Little Miss Milky La Rue” to help me get through each feeding session. I know she will love those in about 13 years!

I really liked the “La Rue” and sometimes call her “Emmerkins La Rue”. There are also Emmers and Emmer-fish. I made a whole rhyme for Emmer-fish, she’s my little Emmer-squish, she’s my little Emmer-dish. Then Tony created “Boutros Boutros-Ghali Girl”. I don’t know how he came up with it, but we started singing it to Emma and it would always get a smile and stop the tears. Boutros Boutros-Ghali was the Secretary-General of the UN in the 1990’s. I know it’s weird but it sounds so catchy and it really did make Emma smile. In the first few months of her life she would have very fussy evenings, crying for hours, and singing “Boutros Boutros-Ghali Girl” just worked. I am sure that I am leaving some out, but I’ll include them next time!

Little stressed

I'm feeling a bit stressed these days. Just lots of things going on and feeling like I don't have time to do everything. Emma is growing so fast that at the end of every day I feel sad, because she's older and that day is gone. I'm sure that this is a normal feeling, and I try to take video and pictures everyday, but sometimes that doesn't happen.

I wish I had time to blog more consistently. I also wish I had more time to knit and crochet. I have a lot of friends and family that are having babies and I want to make gifts but it takes me so long to make a blanket. Oh well I guess I'll keep trying.

I am excited about the holidays coming up. It will be Emma's first Thanksgiving and I think we will have all the family together. Well Emma's waking up from her nap so I have to go!

88

Today is my Pawpaw Mangrum's birthday. He would have been 88. I always thought he would be the last of my grandparents to pass, since both his parents lived into their 90's. I miss you Pawpaw, Happy Birthday!

Today Tony and I are going to a football game, UT v. Missouri. It's my first game since Emma was born. I am looking forward to it, just a little stressed about leaving Emma. But Tony's parents are here and I know she will be fine, it's just hard for me to leave her, and this will be a long time, about 7 or 8 hours. I hope she does ok with someone else putting her to bed, that will be a new thing. So I am excited and stressed at the same time. But honestly I need the break and I hope that I can just have fun and relax, and not worry about Emma all night!

7 months old today!

Donna Marie Mangrum, 1924-2008

Last night my last living grandparent passed away. My Dad's mother, Donna Marie Mangrum, died at about 10:30pm in West, TX. I have been here in West since Saturday afternoon. This is was not unexpected, she has been in declining health for a while and it really went down this month.

I did get to see her and spend a few minutes with her on Saturday and yesterday evening. It is really hard to see her looking not like herself. But I wanted to tell her goodbye and hold her hand and I'm glad that I did.

It has been almost two years since my Pawpaw died, in August 2006. So I am glad that they are together again. Her Alzheimer's Disease had been very bad the last 5 or more years, but when Pawpaw died she really lost her last link with the world, so in a way she has been gone for a while already.

I am feeling a lot of different things. Sadness of course, but also some relief that her struggle is over, and that my Dad, Mom, and the rest of the family can go on and not see her struggling. But also I feel a sense of dread. My grandparents are all gone. Now I have a baby, and some day hopefully more children. So my parents and Tony's parents are now in the grandparent roles. I dread watching them get older, knowing that one day it will be my turn to bury my parents. I truly hope that they all have another 25 or more years left, but we can never know for certain. Ok, I have to stop this line of thinking. Very disturbing and nothing good can come of it.

Goodbye Granny! I know that you are back with Pawpaw, and your mind is whole again! Thank you for all your years of love, encouragement, and support. I'll never forget your pancake breakfasts, and your wild stories of getting married at aged 16! You are a sweet lady, and I'll always love you.

Ho hum - random thoughts

I really don't have the time to blog anymore like I want too. I only have time now because Emma is napping, but it's very limited, she'll wake up soon. I can blog more at night after she's gone to sleep, but I'm so tired then and it's hard to make coherent thoughts.

My Granny Mangrum is very sick. She's my last grandparent living. But really she's been gone for a while, due to the mental deterioration from that terrible disease that starts with an "A" that I can't spell. She's in the nursing home in West, and since yesterday they put her on oxygen and discontinued her meds, except for painkillers. It will be a blessing when she has passed and is reunited with my Pawpaw. She's been without him for almost 2 years. In 2006 we lost Pawpaw, then last year, 2007, my Granny Peterson. So this year it will be Granny Mangrum. I feel really sad that she didn't get to met my Emma. But I know that all my grandparents are watching out for Emma and she will too.

I've been at home with Emma since mid-April, about 3 months now. I do not regret leaving my job one bit, although I do miss some things about working. Mostly just the time to myself, which I don't get a lot of these days. I also miss going out to lunch and seeing my friends. But I am finding ways to get out and see people now, with Emma. Twice a week I take Emma to Town Lake and walk the trails with another friend and her baby. We do the 3 mile loop in about an hour. It gets me out of the house, exercise, and time to talk with another adult! I also go to a couple of La Leche League meetings 2 times a month, and I've started going to an attached parenting meeting once a month. Attached Parenting is a whole parenting concept I don't know much about it, but I get to see and talk to other parents and there is food at the meetings, so I'm going!

Sometimes I do get frustrated with being at home. I feel that since I'm here I should be able to do so much and have a clean house and dinner cooked, etc. Now, I know that is not possible and that Tony doesn't expect that. But I am sort of an overachiever and I want to be good at my job. I was a good purchaser and now I want to be a good stay at home mom, and I just put too much pressure on myself to do everything, which is just not possible. Even though I know this, part of me still gets down about it. I am harder on myself than anyone else can be. It's just something that I need to accept and go with the flow and relax! Easy for me to say but harder to do.

Emma is 6 months old!

I almost can’t believe it, but Emma is 6 months old today! She has grown and changed so much! Yesterday was her 6 month doctor visit. She got more vaccinations and an overall check-up. She weighs 20 pounds exactly, and so she’s off the chart for her weight. She’s 26 and ¾ inches tall, which is in the 75 percentile. She’s sitting alone very well, responding to her name, standing with help, and doing all the other developmental milestones for her age.

We do need to start her on some solid foods. So today we fed her rice cereal for the first time. Tony actually did the feeding. Emma wasn’t sure about the cereal. She kept reaching for the spoon and I’m not sure how much food made it to her tummy, but she seemed ok with the concept of eating. We’ll keep it up with the cereal and then in a few days we can introduce something new. I’m thinking of bananas!

First shopping trip to HEB!

Emma rolls over!

Well yesterday it finally happened! Emma rolled from her tummy onto her back! I was really lucky and able to get the whole thing on video! It was about 4:30, and we were rested from our busy day of running errands. I had put her on the floor, for some tummy time. She almost immediately started to push up with her left hand and leg, and was teetering on her side. I grabbed the camera and recorded her whole endeavor. It took about 6 or 7 minutes, but she pushed and pushed and finally she pushed her leg and arm at the same time. She was pretty happy about it, and rolled back onto her side. She can’t quite get back to her tummy yet. Today she rolled over a few more times, and I was able to get some of that on video. When I first put on her tummy this afternoon, I ran to move some clothes from the washer to the dryer. When I came back to her, just a few minutes later, she was on her back, smiling up at me! Later, after Tony came home, she rolled over again for him!

Monday, Tuesday...

I’ve been trying to get a routine established now that I am home with Emma full time. I’ve decided that Mondays are for staying home. I’m not going to make any appointments, run errands, etc., unless absolutely necessary. Mondays are for recovering from the weekend - even stay-at-home moms need that! So on Monday we stayed home, and in our pajamas most of the morning. I did plenty around the house though, and tried to plan our week.

Tuesday is going to be for getting out, running errands, play dates, or appointments. I really over did it yesterday though. We left about 9am, and we were gone all morning, and then went out again after lunch and a short nap for Emma. I didn’t know it was going to reach 101 degrees yesterday! By the end of the afternoon we were both way too hot and tired. So next time I’ll limit my errands to only a few places and try to just get out in the mornings!

First Mother's Day

Sunday was my first Mother's Day! It was a really great day. We went home to visit my folks on Saturday, and it was nice to be with them. Also my Aunt Connie from Nebraska was in town to visit, so she was able to meet Emma!

Sunday morning I got up at 7 with Emma, but then Tony took over and I went back to bed from 8-10am! It was so nice to get those extra 2 hours! Tony was great and Emma took her bottle like a pro! We had a good lunch with the family and then headed back to Austin in the afternoon.

Tony helped Emma with a special little project for my present. If I ever figure out how to post a picture I'll post it. Then he picked up a great takeout dinner from Carrabba's. It was just a really nice Mother's Day!

Happy Trails! Emma goes north!

Jamie Rae Kersey

A good friend, Jamie, passed away suddenly very early Monday morning. I didn't find out until I saw her MySpace page and folks were leaving comments about her passing. She was only 35. It appears she had some type of heart problem. I just can't believe she is gone. We used to work together, and always had so much fun. I'll always remember her giant Diet Coke she had every morning on her desk. She was so full of life, and she lived it to the fullest. I'm so sorry hers was just too short. Her funeral is tomorrow in Waco. I am thinking of going and I will have to take Emma too. I just really want to say goodbye.

Jamie, you were a great friend, a true kindred spirit. I will miss you so much. I know you're up in the stars with God now. Please look down on us sometimes, and know how much we love and miss you.

Notice!

I did it! I just gave my 2 week notice at work! It was really hard, I was very unsure how my boss would react, but it went ok. She was very supportive and understanding that I want to stay at home with Emma. So April 18th is my last day with the State Preservation Board. After 7 years, it's going to be hard to say goodbye to everyone. But I am so happy in my decision, I know it is the right thing for Emma, and for our family.

Never a Dull Moment!

last night the upstairs guest toilet overflowed. we didn't realize it until water was pouring out of the ceiling in the pantry/utility room and downstairs bathroom. we used every towel in the house to mop up the water, but we had to call in a company to do the rest, and dry out the carpet and walls and ceiling. what a mess!

we have two dehumidifiers and about 10 high powered fans in the house, both upstairs and downstairs. the poor cats are freaked out and we had to move their litterbox out of the bathroom downstairs. the equipment will be here for 3-5 days, it will take that long to dry out the floors and walls. they had to rip up the carpet in places and are going to have to replace the pad. the water flowed from the bathroom to the north, all the way across Emma's room and partly into our room and the guest bedroom. the guys were here last night for a couple of hours until 11pm. all the excitement overstimulated Emma and she didn't go to bed until 1:30.

the constant droning of the fans and dehumidifier is slowing driving me crazy! i can barely hear the TV or anyone on the phone. since we have such an open floor plan, there really is not a quiet place in the house to go, except my closet! i'm not sure i can take 2 or more days of this!

otherwise it's baby central as usual over here.

Helping Mommy with laundry!

Happy Valentines Day from Emma Scarlett!

Emmerkins!!!

First day home alone with baby

baby is sleeping.

dishwasher is running.

washing machine is washing, dryer is drying.

kitties have stopped begging for attention and slunk off to nap somewhere.

daddy will be home soon.

mommy is tired.