Crafty Knitty Kitty

The Day Before

2010-09-29T12:33:00.002-05:00

September 23, 2010

I took Emma to preschool. I went to HEB and got a huge blueberry muffin and a coffee.

I had an OB appointment at 9:50. Tony met me there. I got a flu shot, and weighed 178 pounds. I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced. We scheduled an induction for Oct 1.

I had lunch with an old friend. I had tater tots and a grilled chicken sandwich. It was really good.

I picked Emma up from school. We went to the mall and bought a baby book and calendar for baby brother.

We came home and I dozed on the couch while Emma watched some TV. Tony had a big meeting and dinner with his boss and and a client. I put Emma to bed myself. I read her several stories and sang to her. She fell asleep quickly and I watched her, enjoying some cuddles. I thought it might be the last time in a while I put her to bed.

Tony came home with a steak, courtesy of his boss, for me. We split it and enjoyed talking together. We went to bed about 11pm.

Flowers!

2010-09-22T14:10:00.000-05:00

From my mother and father-in-law! They are beautiful, thank you!

Nursery pic #3

2010-09-19T21:48:00.001-05:00

Chest of drawers, closet on the left and door and the right.

Nursery pic #2

2010-09-19T21:46:00.001-05:00

Glider, cross-stitch by Grandma Smith from 1979, changing table with another quilt to hang up, also made by my Granny Peterson.

Nursery pic #1

2010-09-19T21:44:00.001-05:00

Daddy's awesome paint job, and a quilt made by my Granny Peterson.

A closer view

2010-09-15T16:00:00.001-05:00

Panda bear is done!

2010-09-15T15:56:00.001-05:00

Last night I finished Emma's panda bear. His proportions are not exact, and in this picture he appears to have a giant arm and smaller than normal head. But he's done! It took me about 4 hours to complete the stuffing of the head, attaching the nose and eyes, and then the head and limbs to the body.

I hope that Emma likes him. I plan to give him to her tonight when Tony is home. Maybe we can record it. I sure hope she likes it!

Sneak Peak

2010-09-14T09:27:00.001-05:00

The bear is almost done! The last few nights I've worked on the head, muzzle, eyes, nose and ears. All that's left is assembling the head and limbs to the body.

37.5 weeks!

2010-09-12T17:23:00.000-05:00

The view from here

2010-09-09T22:09:00.001-05:00

Yes, my belly is a great table for my bedtime sandwich. And yogurt for dessert.

Baby Boy Week 37 Update

2010-09-07T20:53:00.004-05:00

Today I went to the doctor for my weekly checkup. Technically I'm 36 weeks and 5 days, but we are rounding up! He is still head down, at station -3, which just means his head is down but he has not dropped into my pelvis yet. His heart rate is still in the 140's, so that's good. I'm already 75% effaced and dilated 2-3 cm. But this doesn't mean I'm about to go into labor. I remember with Emma I was dilated to 5cm for almost 3 weeks and she was 3 days past due. So we are still looking at about 3 weeks. I gained another almost 7 pounds in the last 2 weeks! So that puts me at 45 pounds gained and I can tell! My belly is so heavy, it just aches.

We are just about ready for him to arrive around here. We have the car seat in the car, Tony is packed and I'm about 95% packed. We still need to figure out what will happen with Emma when I go into labor. Of course that will depend on when that happens, but we need to write up some plans so we are prepared. We still need to hang things in his room, but we have the bassinet set up in our room so he'll be in with us for a while.

3 weeks

2010-09-06T20:30:00.002-05:00

Just about 3 weeks to go until baby boy is due! I'm feeling very uncomfortable! It's like I'm wearing extremely tight pants, and if I could just take them off my belly would feel so much better. Of course it's just because my skin is tight and so stretched that it hurts most of the time. Also I'm having a lot more back pain this time around, which is probably normal, I'm doing a lot more keeping up with Emma and getting ready for the baby.

Tomorrow I will go for my week 37 appointment. I'm sure I will have gained another 5-10 pounds but we shall see. I am certainly ready to no longer be pregnant, but the labor, birth and newborn stage are going to be a challenge so I'm not really ready for that. We have just a few things left around here to do to be ready. We do have the car seat installed, lots of clothes and diapers ready, and the bassinet is set up in our room. We are almost all packed for the hospital, I have a few last minute things to get packed.

Lastly I am trying to finish the panda bear I started for Emma a few months ago. I'm so close, if I would just sit down and do it I could probably finish in an hour or so. But my concentration skills are lacking right now so I haven't done it.

Dueling bellies!

2010-08-29T20:11:00.000-05:00

My friend Gina on the left, 36.5 weeks and myself, at 35.5 weeks.

Random Thoughts

2010-08-05T21:33:00.003-05:00

I'd really like a new kitchen faucet. The current one is 10 years old and wasn't top quality when it was new.

I don't think the baby's room is going to be done before he is here. I just can't get organized and I'm running out of time.

Emma went to bed tonight at 8pm. I didn't know what to do with myself. She's been staying up so late at night I hardly have any free time.

I still haven't finished Emma's panda bear. Hmm, maybe I should be working on that but I stashed it somewhere and I don't feel like looking for it.

The baby has hiccups right now!

I went to a casting call today for pregnant women for a breastfeeding campaign the Department of State Health Services is doing. I just filled out a short questionnaire and they took a few pictures of me. If I am selected I will participate in a photo shoot next week. I'll receive a CD of all the photos and $300! That would be so awesome but I'm not very confident I'll be selected, they had a huge response to the casting call.

I'm hungry, like all the time. I bought 5 pounds of grapes on Wednesday and I've already eaten half.

My sister is going to Germany in 10 days. So jealous! Wonder if I'll ever make it over the pond.

I don't have any bras that fit currently. And I'm too cheap to go buy any. Well more broke than cheap, but whatever.

I have curbed my candy eating recently but still have a few Dove chocolates everyday.

I miss going out with my friends. I feel like I have hardly seen or talked to some friends in months. And it's not going to change any time soon with another baby on the way.

I'm still hungry, gotta find a snack!

30 weeks!

2010-07-25T11:07:00.000-05:00

Hmm cake!

2010-07-11T17:23:00.001-05:00

Chocolate cake and icing from scratch!

2010-07-11T17:22:00.001-05:00

Where did June go?

2010-07-05T21:38:00.005-05:00

Wow I can't believe I missed a whole month of posting! (not really, I'm bad about consistency)

June was a busy month. But it's over so I can't remember what we did. Well, we did take our family vacation to Galveston. That was a great trip. Emma had fun at the beach and the pool and we all enjoying eating out. We also had visits from all the grandparents and Emma enjoyed those immensely!

July is going to be every busier than June. Emma is taking dance lessons starting next week. Today I bought ballet and tap shoes for her. If I had planned ahead I might have been able to get some used, but planning ahead is not always easy for me. We also have more family visiting for a week later this month, then Emma is going to have a weekend with my parents while Tony and I have a stay-cation here at home. It will be my first time away from Emma for more than just a few hours ever. I hope she and I both do ok. I've been talking about it and preparing her so I think it will be ok.

In other news, the kitties are now outside cats. We transitioned them in early May, for a few reasons. Mostly I could not keep up with cleaning up the cat vomit and then Anya started peeing on the couch, and that was really the last straw. Anya is SO happy outside, she rarely wants to come in and I know she's an explorer. Chloe is not so happy and has clawed a good bit of insulation from around the door as she tries to get in throughout the day. One day I'd love to have a cat door installed, but that's way down on the list of many other things that I need or want to be done before the baby arrives.

I will try to be better about posting this month, even if it's a short update. Please check our family website for pictures and more news about Emma and baby boy!

My Pecan Tree

2010-05-29T20:38:00.000-05:00

It's grown since last year! It's now just a bit taller than my waist.

Lantana closeup

2010-05-29T20:37:00.001-05:00

Backyard.

My "Dallas Red" Lantana

2010-05-29T20:36:00.000-05:00

Backyard.

22 1/2 weeks!

2010-05-29T12:55:00.000-05:00

Weaned!

2010-05-20T14:30:00.000-05:00

It is done. Emma is weaned. Over all the experience went very well and we only had a few rough days. I wanted to remember this and also have a record for Emma so in addition to blogging I have kept a written journal.

On April 21, 2010, a Wednesday, I decided as I nursed Emma at naptime that this would be the last time. The next few days I wrote about here.

Then on April 28, I did nurse Emma again. She had a couple of rough days and each day at naptime she was becoming more and more upset. On this day she was crying, begging, pleading to nurse. I wasn't feeling great myself, I was upset and I think we both needed that connection one more time. So I told Emma we could try to nurse to show her that the milk was all gone. She latched on and started to nurse. Immediately I felt the tension in her body melt away, she was calm, relaxed and peaceful. She only nursed a few minutes before she was fast asleep. I rocked her for a long time and enjoyed the moment. It also made me feel better to have that physical connection again.

The next day at naptime I was prepared and brought a cup of milk to Emma's room. When she asked to nurse I reminded her that Mommy's milk was all gone but she could have some milk from the cup. She accepted this and took a few sips of milk. There were no tears, she was calm, and naptime was very peaceful.

Over the next few days and weeks Emma would ask to nurse but always accepted my explanation that Mommy's milk was gone. We continued to talk about Mommy's nummies, milk, and nursing but she was not upset when I refused to nurse her. One day I forgot the cup of milk and she didn't ask for it, so we've dropped that at naptime. She never drank much of it anyway and she doesn't seem to want it.

On May 11th I took Emma with me to an Attached Parenting meeting. At this meeting there are lots of nursing babies and toddlers so I was interested in how Emma would react. She saw a baby nursing and asked me to nurse several times. Finally she would not be distracted so I let her attempt to nurse. She latched on but it was as if she had already forgotten how to nurse. She did try and latched on several times before I asked if there was any milk. She said no and stopped nursing. She was just fine, and I think by letting her see for herself there was no milk made it much easier for her. It was very painful so I'm glad she didn't nurse for long!

So that's it, Emma is weaned. She still talks about milk, and my nummies. She likes to hug them and pat them. I never thought I would nurse for so long. It's been the best mothering experience I've had so far. I know it's helped Emma to be as healthy as she is, and helped us establish a wonderful bond. I love her so much, I just hope I can continue to mother her in other ways so that our bond continues to deepen.

I'm still here!

2010-05-17T08:12:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the lack of updates. I'm working on a few new posts and I hope to get them up this week! Emma is keeping me very busy but this is her last week of Mother's Day Out so I've been using all that time to get other things done. Check back soon!

Hmm, apple pie!

2010-04-30T20:30:00.001-05:00

Almost

2010-04-25T22:10:00.003-05:00

We are almost weaned. We haven't nursed since Wednesday. Thursday at nap time Emma asked to nurse but I refused her for the first time. I tried to explain that there was no more mommy milk and instead I would cuddle her and read her stories. She was ok, she didn't cry or protest. She just made a pouting face and said "aw". But she hasn't been sleeping well since then at all. She has woken up the last 3 nights about 3am, crying and very upset. She doesn't ask to nurse but I think she is upset, but just doesn't know how to explain herself. And Friday night and Saturday night she has been asking to nurse at bedtime. She doesn't get upset but she does pout her lip and slightly whine a bit. I am trying to give her lots of extra cuddles but I have no idea what she is thinking and I'm afraid that I'm doing some silent psychological damage to her. Maybe I am surprised that she's not crying or protesting when I refuse her. But the not sleeping and crying at night just has me worried.

I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I miss it and I know she does too. But I really don't think I have any milk left and it hurts a lot to nurse. My breasts don't seem to be engorged so that's good. I just feel so sad about it, but I feel like it's been 4 days so we should keep going. I think I'm mostly sad because it means she really is growing up and she's not my baby anymore. If she had protested even the slightest bit more or asked repeatedly, I would have probably given in. Who knows, tomorrow I may cave. If she cries or asks repeatedly at nap time I might. I know this process can be a bit back and forth, so it wouldn't mean we were going back to everyday. I am trying to remember everything about Wednesday, April 21, in case that really was the last time we nursed.

Albino bluebonnet

2010-04-18T21:36:00.001-05:00

There were about six in a small area along the service road in West,
Tx. This one was the prettiest and fullest of the six.

Nursing while Pregnant

2010-04-10T21:32:00.003-05:00

I'm almost 16 weeks now! Emma is still nursing at nap time, but has begun to skip some days here and there. I think we are getting closer to weaning. Honestly I could probably just tell her no and she'd be mostly fine, I think. I may have to do this soon, as it is starting to hurt to nurse. The first 12 weeks were not a problem, but now I'm really sore. The right side is worse than the left, but I'm still alternating sides each time we nurse.

I'm also feeling the baby move quite a bit now. It's mostly flutters, but I know it's the baby. I feel like I have just gotten off a roller coaster, and my stomach is doing flips. It's really unsettling and still makes me nauseous. I hope as the baby gets bigger the flutters will go away and I'll just feel regular baby movements. I don't remember being so affected by the movements with Emma once I was past 16 weeks.

I'm finally starting to show a bit. My maternity pants are still too big, but regular pants are too tight. So I've been wearing yoga pants for weeks now. Also, I'm back from an A cup to a C cup, in just about 4 weeks. That was fast!

Blooms!

2010-03-30T07:12:00.000-05:00

My ajuga is blooming!

Sunshine kitty

2010-03-28T16:55:00.001-05:00

Weaning Update

2010-03-08T21:47:00.004-06:00

I think Emma is almost weaned. She has not nursed for a significant amount of time since last Wednesday, March 3rd. Last week we did our normal naptime routine, with her nursing to sleep. Then on Thursday we went to West to visit my parents. I tried to get her to take her usual nap in the afternoon by laying down with her and offering her the breast. She latched on and nursed for maybe a minute, but then stopped. She was too excited to be at Grandmom's and Granddad's house to nurse. After a few hours my mom was able to get her to take a nap, but she just wasn't interested in nursing.

On Friday I tried again several times to nurse her at nap time. She latched on a few times, nursed for 5-10 seconds, then would stop. On Saturday it was the same story, she would latch on and nurse for a few seconds but that's all.

On Sunday I didn't even offer her the breast because we were driving back to Austin and she napped in the car. So today I was very interested to see how things would go. After I picked her up from Mother's Day Out, we played for awhile. I asked if she wanted to nap or to nurse and she said no. I thought about just taking her into her room, to the rocking chair but I didn't. After an hour of playing she was really tired and pretending to nap on the floor. I again offered her to nurse or take a nap and she said no. I then asked if she wanted to watch TV in our bed, and she did. I turned the TV on and within about 10 minutes she was asleep. Without nursing. She had a nice 1.5 hour nap on our bed.

So maybe she is weaned? Maybe tomorrow she'll want to nurse? Now I have to decide if I offer it to her or not. Maybe she's really ready to wean and if so that is ok. I'm a little sad about it. I just love her so much and love the close relationship we've had nursing for over two years. If she is truly done then I'm glad it's her final choice. I did make the decision to cut back a few times over the last 8 months, but if she's really done then I'm happy it's her choice.

Abby's Wand

2010-02-17T20:54:00.002-06:00

Here is the wand I made for Emma. It did not turn at all how I wanted, but I just lost my creativity when it came time to sit down and make it. I covered the dowel rod and the stars with a soft light pink fabric and glued it on. Then I glued a ribbon to the top. Emma didn't seem very impressed with it and has hardly played with it. Maybe she'll like it better when she's older. I also realized that this looks nothing like Abby Cadabby's wand on Sesame Street. Maybe I'll try to make another wand that looks like Abby's, but not right now.

Something crafty is a foot!

2010-01-27T20:55:00.004-06:00

Yes, an actual CRAFT at Crafty Knitty Kitty. Amazing, I know!

Emma loves Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street, especially her wand! She got an Abby doll for Christmas and Abby has a little wand in her hand. It does not come off, but Emma has tried many times to get it out of her hand. So I decided that I'd make Emma her own wand. I went to Michaels and bought some purple and pink beads, some dowel sticks, and some wooden stars. I plan to wrap the dowel stick in a pink or purple fabric and glue it down, then paint or color the stars for the top of the wand. Then I'll throw some beads on it and she'll love it, right? Ok, now I need to get started on this, so stay tuned!

Random thoughts

2010-01-21T13:17:00.001-06:00

My house is a mess. I just can't keep up with cleaning. I can barely grocery shop and cook meals 75% of the time. Our carpet is so gross I am thinking of buying a extremely large rug to cover it.

I'm very close to buying a jogging stroller. In fact I think I'm going to order one tomorrow, I just want to sleep on it tonight. I really want to start running and walking again. The weather will be getting nice again soon and in 2008 and part of 2009 I really enjoying getting out with Emma. I had bought a used jogging stroller but finally got rid of it because one tire kept going flat. Anyway, I hope to have my new one by next week sometime!

When spring arrives I want to start letting the kitties outdoors for a few hours everyday. Any poop and puke that can go outside is less for me to clean up. I'll have to get them vaccinated and that will cost some money but I think it'll be worth it. We have a friend that mounted some kind of glossy sheet metal all around the top of their fence to keep their cats in, and Tony says he'll do it for our yard. Even if he doesn't, I think they need to be outside some, for my own sanity. By about 3pm everyday they are camped out in the kitchen waiting for dinner and trying to trip me by walking around my legs. I can hardly go into the kitchen without getting attacked by the cats. It's probably because they are starving. I have stopped feeding them as much as they want. Less food in should equal less poop out, right? Right. But don't worry, I'm not starving them, they are still getting plenty. I'm just not letting them snack all day.

Finally, I will try to post more often as I've apparently got at least 7 readers out there! Thanks for posting your comments!

Getting closer?

2010-01-20T21:00:00.004-06:00

We may be getting a bit closer to weaning Emma. The last two weeks I've been trying to change her naptime routine to more closely resemble her bedtime routine (when she doesn't nurse). We've been reading stories and I offer her water from her night time sippy cup. Most days she still asks to nurse. I try to get her to take the water instead but mostly she still nurses. But the first time she didn't nurse at naptime was Friday, January 8. It was strange really, she didn't even ask to nurse that day! I read stories, she drank her water and then she slowly drifted off to sleep as I rocked and sang songs to her.

On Monday January 11 it worked again. She asked to nurse but when I offered the water she accepted it without any tears so I went with it. Day two of napping without nursing! Then on Wednesday January 13 we didn't nurse again, but it wasn't a smooth naptime. She asked repeatedly, about 10 times. If she had started to cry I would have nursed her but she didn't. So that was day 3 of not nursing at naptime.

Then on Sunday, the 17th, we didn't nurse because we were traveling back from Waco. I timed it so that we left when Emma was tired and she just feel asleep in the car. But this week she has demanded to nurse everyday and when I try to distract her with water and books she's not buying it. So I will keep trying and hoping that she can adjust to not nursing.

De-lurker Day!

2010-01-14T18:18:00.002-06:00

Apparently today is De-lurker day. You're supposed to leave a comment so I know you're out there! Just say hi, or bye, or something. You don't have to sign up to blogger to comment. You can select the Anonymous option but then leave your name inside your comment!

I'll guess that I get 1-2 comments. But that's ok, I'm certainly not writing to create a big following!

I promise to update again soon, we have been making progress on weaning Emma so I have to chronicle that for the blog.

2010

2010-01-11T21:30:00.005-06:00

Well I've gotten some inquires about why I haven't been blogging so I'm back! I was just a little swamped with Christmas, Emma's second birthday, the New Year, the New Decade and occasionally sleeping that blogging was put on hold. Don't worry dear readers, I'm back! I'm so flattered that you both missed me! ;)

I know we are already 11 days into 2010 but I wanted to take a little look back on the last decade and highlight some events.

April 8, 2000 Met a cute boy with blue eyes out the country at a failed tubing trip turned cookout. I sang an annoying song and he later ask a mutual friend for my phone number.

April 28, 2000 Had a first date cute boy. It took him a few weeks to fit me into his busy schedule but I think he's glad he did!

May 5, 2000 My sweet childhood cat Tiggy passed away after a brave but fast battle with cancer. It was a Thursday and I was in the mist of my last finals at UT before graduating. I knew that he was dying and planned to go home on the weekend to be with him. But my Mom called and said that I need to come home asap. So on Thursday morning I took a final at 9am and then drove to West. My mom went with me to the vet and we had to put my sweet Tiggy to sleep. Very sad day. Had second date with cute boy.

May 27, 2000 Graduated from University of Texas!

November 3, 2000 Cute boy (know as Tony or husband from here on out) asked me to marry him! I said "HUH?" then "YES!"

November 3, 2001 Got married!

June 2004 Purchased our first (and current) home.

November 2004 Welcomed Chloe Cat into our home.

April 2006 Welcomed Anya the Lillipoots kitty into our home.

August 16, 2006 Lost my Pawpaw to cancer.

May 5, 2007 Discovered we were pregnant with Emma!

May 15, 2007 Lost Granny Peterson.

December 25, 2007 Emma's due date.

December 28, 2007 Emma's birthday date!

July 20, 2008 Lost Granny Mangrum.

The rest of the decade was filled with lots of days of fun, love and little sleep!

Two Week Update

2009-12-16T19:36:00.002-06:00

I think it's done. The bedtime weaning is done. Tonight I put Emma to bed by myself and didn't nurse her, and neither of us cried!

Last week Tony had a dinner meeting with a client, so I had to put Emma to bed alone that night too. It was December 10, 2009. The last time I nursed Emma to bed. I tried to not nurse her but she was very upset and crying so I told her we could nurse for 10 minutes, then she would have to lay down in her bed. That worked, she went to bed willingly and didn't cry when I left her room.

Tonight I was afraid that she'd get upset again. She did ask to nurse several times but each time I said "remember we don't nurse at bedtime anymore." I read books to her instead and she drank her cup of water. Tony has been reading books to her at bedtime and I think she is really enjoying it, because we read four books tonight. After the 4th book I turned off the light and just rocked her and sang. She asked for the light a few times but wasn't upset and didn't ask to nurse again.

I sang and rocked for about 15 minutes, then told her it was goodnight time and laid her in her bed. She didn't cry! I was amazed. I'm a little sad but also very happy that we've established a new routine so fast that is happier for everyone.

One week

2009-12-09T07:37:00.002-06:00

Monday was one week since I nursed Emma at night and put her to bed. Mostly I think it's going well. She seems to be adjusting just fine. Last night it only took Tony about 15 minutes to put her to bed. She cried a little when I said goodnight and left them in her room, but once I left she was fine.

I am feeling better now that she's doing well with it. I have much more energy in the evening and am actually getting things done quickly and still having time to relax. I am going to bed early or on time because I don't feel that I must stay up later to get things done.

I am also coming to realize that complete weaning is not too far off. So I'm really enjoying and appreciating the one time a day we do nurse. I am trying to memorize Emma's sweet face looking up at me, and how relaxed and warm her little body feels in my arms. I love to cradle her and hold her so close. I hope that I can continue to cradle her after we've weaned, whenever that does happen.

Bedtime weaning update

2009-12-05T23:23:00.003-06:00

Tonight Daddy put Emma to bed without a fuss or a tear. From Emma that is. I am still sad. When we announced it was time for bed, she gave me several long looks, like she was wondering what I was going to do. But she went up with Daddy and never asked to nurse or cried when he put her to bed. I guess I am doing ok, I didn't cry through the whole bedtime tonight. I am still nursing at nap time and trying to enjoy and appreciate every minute of it. Today at nap time Emma fell asleep fairly quickly, within 10 minutes. But the first 4-5 times I tried to unlatch her, she woke up and asked to nurse more. So of course I did. I'm sure she was just trying to hang out since it's the only time we nurse now. My supply already has slow down so I'm not dealing with any discomfort.

#3

2009-12-03T20:55:00.003-06:00

Tonight was the 3rd night a row that Tony put Emma to bed. She did great, hardly crying and going to sleep in record time. The fact that I'm not nursing her at bedtime really hit me hard tonight. I'm not sure why, but I feel extremely sad and I'm wishing that I hadn't initiated this next step in weaning.

I feel terrible that the last night I nursed her, Nov. 30, 2009, I didn't know it was the last time. I didn't remember it, appreciate it or enjoy it. I was tired, moody and irritated that she wanted to nurse for so long and when I finally put her in her bed I was very frustrated. I came downstairs and told Tony that I was done with bedtime, I couldn't do it anymore. Maybe I shouldn't have made such a big decision when I was upset. Probably shouldn't have. But I did. And now I don't know what to do about it.

Sure, I could change things back, start nursing her at night again. But I feel like that's not fair to Emma, and would be very confusing. Especially if I was just doing it so that I could say 'this is the last time'. I am still nursing her at naptime, so we haven't weaned completely. And knowing that I'm not nursing her at bedtime has made me more aware of cuddling Emma and holding her close during the day. And it's good for Tony and Emma to have some bedtime cuddles together. I shouldn't get all the love at bedtime.

But this is a huge change for Emma and for me. We've been nursing for almost two years and I love the bond that it has built between us. We worked so hard in the beginning to get this going. I wish I could keep it going until Emma was ready to stop, but I'm just wearing out too soon to do that.

Today

2009-12-02T13:33:00.002-06:00

Today has been ok. Since we still have only one car, and Tony had a meeting up north at 9am, I was not able to take Emma to Mother's Day Out. I spent a lot of time trying to connect with her, playing with her and reading to her. She seems to be fine, she's been happy, playing well and eating well. At her nap time we did nurse. She was very content and nursed for about 15 minutes and feel asleep. I was ready for her to nurse too. After skipping last night, my left side was starting to hurt. I think it will take about to week for my milk supply to go down, and then I won't have the discomfort. I am still sad thinking that we are another step closer to completely weaning, but then a part of me is also feeling some relief. I know the nights will be hard for a while until Emma adjusts to her Daddy putting her to bed. I hope that it won't be too long before we can both put her to bed peacefully without nursing. It would be nice to take turns and share the bedtime duties.

Weaning Update

2009-12-01T21:16:00.004-06:00

Tonight I did not nurse Emma at bedtime. Instead, Tony read to her, rocked her, and put her to bed. It was very hard. Emma was upset and crying at times, as was I. She called for me repeatedly and asked to nurse. Tony was able to calm her down and she did eventually go to sleep.

I have really been feeling burned out on nursing and the whole bedtime routine lately. After we cut back in the summer I hoped that as Emma got older she would start to lose interest on her own, but instead she asks to nurse more than the 2 times a day we have been. At night she wants to nurse for 30-45 minutes and that just leaves me feeling tired and drained. By the time I'd get her to bed I would be frustrated and tired and there wasn't much evening time left for me to have to myself. I started to limit the nursing to about 15 or 20 minutes, but then Emma would be very upset, and so I'd lay down on the floor by her crib to be near her until she fell asleep. But I ran out of patience for that, so I'd have to sneak out of her room.

I have conflicting feelings about stopping the bedtime nursing. On the one hand I feel that Emma really needs that connection to me. But then I am feeling so tired and a little bit trapped by it. I feel guilty that my own needs are conflicting with Emma's needs. I wish I wasn't feeling this way, that I could keep nursing Emma as much as she wants. But at some point I have to take my own needs into consideration. That's just a very hard thing to do, when your baby is crying and you have to make the hard decision.

Emma's blanket

2009-10-29T13:49:00.006-05:00

Finally, it is done! I have finished Emma's baby blanket! The pattern I used is called Tender Blankie. It's very basic and easy. I used US size 7 knitting needles and for the border I used an I9 (5.5mm) crochet hook. I decided to do something bright with lots of color. The pattern calls for 4 knitted squares in the same color to be knitted, sewn together and then a border added. I decided to do each block in a different color, and the border in another color. I picked red, yellow, green and blue for the blocks, and purple for the border.

The blanket is approximately 18-18.5 inches square. The blue and green blocks became stretched out as I was knitting them so it's not a perfect square. I didn't understand the instructions for the border so I made up my own border. That's why I took so long to finish it, I was trying to decide how to finish it up. This is a small blanket. I wanted something small for Emma to be her snuggle or lovey blanket. Here are a few pictures.

Overwhelmed and Unfullfilled

2009-10-21T20:19:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling so overwhelmed these days. Being a stay-at-home mom and a wife is so much work and I'm never off. Even when I'm on a break, I'm really still on call. I just can't keep up with the daily and never ending chores. And then there is other stuff that comes up, like dealing with the insurance co. and paperwork since my accident. I don't know what is worse, the daily stuff or the new stuff that is life that pops up constantly. I feel that I'd be able to manage the stuff of life better if I didn't have the daily chores. The never ending line of meals and snacks to be cooked, served, cleaned up, planned, and shopped for. If I never go into another grocery store again...

I just wonder, is this it? Diapers, cooking, cleaning, day after day after day? For the last 664 days what else have I done? I love Emma, I love Tony. I love staying at home, but I just feel that I am running out of steam. I wish I could do something for myself to feel useful, interesting, like a person again. How I can keep this up through another pregnancy and baby? We want at least one more, and if I had #2 exactly 40 weeks from today then Emma would be almost 3 years older. And if we had a #3, then I'd be home for about 8 years at least. I know that one day I'll go back to work. It doesn't really make sense to do that right now when we are planning for another baby. But it's not just a job that I am missing. I'm missing me, the person I was, or thought I was.

Part of the issue is that my social life completely changed when Emma was born. Certain friends I have not heard from again, others only occasionally. But even Tony and I don't have the same relationship, or same amount of time for each other. I try to make new friends with other moms, and I have. I just feel so not like myself this week, that anything positive is lost right now.

Birthday Flowers

2009-10-20T14:46:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday! Tony and Emma took me to dinner, and we had
chocolate cake for dessert. Emma also picked out a balloon and these
lovey pink roses for me.

Wrecked

2009-10-12T20:43:00.004-05:00

Last Wednesday I had a wreck. I was on my way to have lunch with my sister. It had been raining earlier in the morning and the road was still wet, although it was not raining at the time. I hit a wet spot and started to slide, then lost control of the car. I crossed over three lanes of traffic, jumped the curb and crashed into the guardrail. The lady behind me stopped and called the police. She was very nice, stayed with me the whole time. It took almost 30 minutes for the police to arrive, but finally an officer showed up. He was really nice. Said it was not my fault, he'd seen this more times that he could count. The lady behind me said that it looked just like I hit a patch of ice and went sliding.

The wreck was bad and good, depending on how you look at it.

Good:
Emma was not in the car.
No other cars were involved. This was a miracle considering it was 11:30am on a busy South Austin highway.
I walked away without a scratch. Just a little neck pain the next day. The guardrail saved me from plunging over the side of the road onto the highway below.
The officer did not cite me, said it wasn't my fault.

Bad:
I totaled the Trailblazer. The total damage is just $800 shy of the value of the car.
We can't afford another car payment without giving up something else. Like Emma's Kid's Day Out.
We *JUST* bought a new car for Tony 4 weeks ago. This is what makes me the most sick.

We aren't sure what we are going do right now. The insurance company will pay us for the Trailblazer, so we have that. But it's not enough to buy another vehicle outright, even used. I don't want to empty out our savings to buy another car so that we only have one payment.

Today I went to the body shop to get all the rest of our stuff out of the vehicle. A few cd's of children's music (Emma has been asking for E-I-O (Old MacDonald)), spare change, miscellaneous papers out of the glove box. I even found an Elmo book under the seat. It was really sad, the poor Trailblazer sitting in a graveyard of wrecked cars. That was the nicest car we'd own until just last month when we got Tony's Accord. Anyway, I said goodbye and took a few pictures.

I have been feeling really bad about the accident. I feel like I screwed up our finances. I feel like I should take Emma out of her school to save money, but I can't bring myself to do that. I need to have that time, but then I feel guilty for that. I feel a big fat pity party starting so I'm going to sign off now.

Nuse! Nuse!

2009-10-05T23:35:00.002-05:00

A couple of nights ago I was putting Emma to bed when she kept repeating "nuse, nuse" over and over. She was pretty agitated and I didn't understand what she was telling me. I thought maybe she was trying to tell me something about her nose, but she can say nose really well and this was different. Sometimes I guess I can be a little thick headed, because I didn't get it until Emma signed 'nurse' and then I got it! She was asking to nurse, but she just can't get her r's out yet.

She is really talking so much now. She calls me mommy and it just feel so good! I love being her mommy!

My time? Not quite.

2009-09-25T21:18:00.003-05:00

Emma has been in her Kid's Day Out program for 2 weeks now. That's 4 times that I have dropped her off and had a 4 hour chunk of time. So what have I done with this time?

#1. Spent the entire time and then some shopping for and buying a new car. It was a necessary chore but it was made easier by the fact that Emma was at KDO. I'd like to take this time to say goodbye to my little Escort, my first car that I bought right out of college, with my own money. Farewell little blue car, you served me well!

#2. On this day I was not feeling good at all, so I stayed home hoping to get better faster. I just did a few things around the house, but mostly rested on the couch.

#3. This day was better. After dropping Emma off I came home, did a few things around the house, then went to the mall. I did a little shopping/running of errands but then got my makeup done at Dillards. It was really nice to be pampered a bit, and then I met Tony for lunch.

#4. More running around. Went to the grocery store, Target and Babies R Us. By the time I got home, put away all the groceries and ate lunch, I had about 40 minutes before I needed to pick Emma up.

Clearly, I need to think more about how I want to spend this time and what I want to accomplish. It is nice to run errands by myself, but some of these things I can certainly do with Emma. I'd like to go to the gym, spend time in the yard, and work on my photo and knitting projects. Emma really does not like the gym daycare, so I think I need to work out while she is at KDO. So this next week I hope to do something besides running errands. I already plan to have lunch with my sister, so that will be fun. Also, I've got an eye dr appointment on Monday, and I definitely need to do that without Emma. My goal is to make it to the gym and do some yard work, depending on the weather.

View from the cheap seats!

2009-09-19T18:48:00.000-05:00

$2.35

2009-09-12T20:43:00.006-05:00

Today I managed to make it to one garage sale, despite the rainy weather. I am always looking for more books and toys for Emma, and also clothes. We were all out together this morning so Tony and Emma were along for the treasure hunt. I didn't find anything too exciting but any time I get new books and toys for Emma for $2.35, it's a good day.

We found 5 books, including one Elmo and one Ernie book, .25 cents each, so of course Emma loves them.

We also found a nice big book of shapes and colors with lots of flaps to lift up for $1.00. Emma loves those type of books. Also found a Winnie the Pooh book, .50 cents, and a potty book for girls, .25 cents.

I was about to leave when I saw a Playskool barn for .10 cents! It only had the cow figure with it, but we already have the matching tractor at home along with the chicken and pig, so I was happy to get the barn. It plays a few songs including Twinkle Twinkle. Plus I found a Fisher Price Little Person and they just threw that into the mix. Emma loves these little toys and I've become a bit obsessed with finding more Little People for her.

One of Those Days

2009-08-25T17:34:00.001-05:00

It's one of those days when Emma eats more cat food off the floor than anything I put on her plate.

It's one of those days when I wash the cover of the changing table pad for the first time 6 weeks, and then poop gets on it at the very next diaper change.

It's one of those days when there is nothing I want to eat in the house even though I just went to the store 3 days ago.

It's one of those days when the smell of cat crap hits me before I get to the bottom of the stairs.

It's one of those days when Tony is out of town and Emma is getting sick.

It's one of those days when I wash 4 loads of laundry but still don't have a clean bra.

It's one of those days when it's over 100 degrees.

It's one of those days when I want to let Emma watch TV all day long but my head will explode if I hear Elmo's voice one more time so I can't.

It's one of those days when I find out Emma's in the Kid's Day Out Program and it starts Sept. 7, but it's not the days I wanted.

It's one of those days when Emma gives me lots of hugs and kisses and we have a good time together when I stop trying to do other stuff and just give her all my time and attention.

Five weeks

2009-08-20T12:54:00.002-05:00

This week makes five weeks in a row that I have gone to the gym. Just once a week, but it's something. Emma goes to the kid's center to play while I'm on the treadmill. I started out just walking but now I do some running too. I usually walk/run between 1.5 and 2 miles. I would like to go to a yoga class soon, it's free with my membership. Maybe next week I'll make it to yoga.

I'm still not done with Emma's blanket. I have slacked off and I don't know why. I also have a sweater project that has been sitting for a couple of months. I've been working on the sweater the last few days but not making a lot of progress. I am feel a lack of mental stimulation and that makes it harder to concentrate on the knitting. I guess after reading Goodnight Moon 10 times a day and watching Sesame Street my brain has turned to mush a little bit. I need something new to kick start it. Maybe a good book, but I've got a stack of books to read already.

I think I need a night (or a day) off but that seems very unlikely to happen any time soon. I had hoped to get Emma into a Mother's Day out program for 2 mornings a week, but I think my plans for that have been foiled. The church doesn't have anyone to run the program yet and it's supposed to start Aug. 31. If it doesn't work out this year then I'll try to get Emma into a preschool program for next fall.

Emma's Dress

2009-07-30T13:33:00.009-05:00

This post is long overdue, but better late than never! I finally finished knitting Emma's Fiona Baby Sundress. I started this project in April, and finished on June 26th, just in time for Emma to wear her dress for her 18 month pictures on June 27th. This was a hard pattern for me to get started on. I ended up ripping it out several times before I got it right. The pattern starts at the bottom of the dress, and you knit up. The straps gave me a bit of trouble as well. I ended up attaching them too far out and they barely sat on Emma's shoulders, so I had to cut them off and knit new straps, and reattached them the night before Emma's pictures. Nothing like waiting until the last minute! The dress was on the big side, and I was concerned it looked like Emma was wearing a sack. So I knitted about an arm's length of the brown yarn and then threaded that through two places on the back of the waist to make a tie. That helped gather the skirt a bit and made it fit better.

I also got creative and crocheted a little blue flower to match the dress that Emma wore in her hair. The dress really turned out great and I'm really happy with it. Emma hasn't worn it again. It's a bit hot with the 100+ degree weather we have been having, but I'm hopeful she can wear it more this fall. And it's pretty long and with adjustable straps, so I hope she can wear it for a couple of years at least.

Yarn: 4 hanks of Cascade Luna in color Sky, 1 hank of Cascade Luna in color Chocolate.
Needles: Size 7 US 16" circular needle, size 7 US double pointed needles, cable needle.
Gauge: 5 stitches/5.5 rows per inch

Shy little Lillypoots!

2009-07-30T13:02:00.001-05:00

First ripe tomato!

2009-07-08T21:32:00.001-05:00

So I actually have tomatoes to eat now, and Emma loves them!

Weaning Update

2009-07-06T14:38:00.004-05:00

The last week has been a difficult one. I have completely stopped nursing Emma when she wakes during the night. There were some rough nights with lots of crying, from Emma and Mommy. One night (or morning really) she was up from 3-5:30 crying and wanting to nurse. I tried to rock her and walk with her, and offered her water. I tried to explain that at night everyone goes to bed, and there is no nursing. But I don't think she can really understand that yet. But the last two nights she has made it all night without waking up.

After we stopped the night nursing, a few days later we stopped the morning nursing too. Emma is getting up pretty early, usually about 6:45. I bring her downstairs and offer her a yogurt drink and other food for breakfast. I do miss snuggling in our bed with her, but I know one day again we can do that when she is older and won't associate it with nursing. She still asks to nurse every morning and at various times during the day. But now we are down to just naptime and bedtime.

I do hope that my body will notice the decrease in nursing and stop making so much milk. I am still feeling so full and of course my left side is still an overachiever in the milk production.

Overall I think that Emma is adjusting well. I'm sad and miss the extra quiet and cuddle time that each nursing opportunity gives us. I am not at all ready to cut out another nursing session yet. I don't even know how I would do that, I think she will be very opposed to stopping our before nap and bed time nursings.

The "I Have" List

2009-06-30T12:12:00.004-05:00

I am a list maker. Grocery store, Target, Mall, things to do, places to go, craft projects, home improvement projects; these are all lists that I make frequently. They are all wish lists in some way. Wishes for a nice home and yard, wishes for good things to eat, wishes for clothes, toys, etc. The goal is to make a list, then cross the item off when I get what I want. Lately I've been having a lot of "I wants". But when I get what I want, I still want more. So I'm making an "I Have" List. These things won't be crossed off; these are things that I wanted and now have, and I need to remember, appreciate and cherish them.

I have a wonderful husband who would and does so much for me!
I have a beautiful daughter that makes me smile and laugh everyday!
I have two sweet kitties that love me even if they never show it and always make a terrible mess in the litterbox.
I have a nice home that we do take care of and improve when we can, a little bit here and there.
I have clothes and shoes to wear everyday.
I have food to cook and eat everyday.
I have yarn to knit and make things with.

I write this not to brag but to thank the Lord for his blessings. We had a wonderful weekend with family and friend and for that I am very thankful!

Weaning

2009-06-29T13:09:00.003-05:00

We are talking about weaning Emma, actually have been for some time. I have a lot of thoughts and feeling on the subject. I'm pretty conflicted about it. Emma is now 18 months old and I've been feeling pressure to wean her for at least 6 months. I would love to nurse her until she weans gradually on her own but we'd also like to have another baby soon, and the nursing is keeping that from happening.

So we have been cutting back for a few months. We now only nurse 3 times a day, and occasionally during the night if she wakes up. Just a few months ago we were still nursing 7-8 times a day and more at night. I think part of that was because she was teething. She got about 8 teeth with in two months so she wanted to nurse all the time. Even though we are only nursing in the morning, at nap time and bed time, she asks to nurse at other times in the day. It's hard to distract her from this but I am trying. I'd love to just cuddle her and give her some milk or water but it seems like she can't sit in my lap without wanting to nurse. And she does not like cow's milk at all. I've also tried soy milk but this girl just wants water or breastmilk!

I don't know why she still has such a great interest in nursing. I play with her a lot and try to bond with her in other ways but she still wants to nurse. I feel guilty for trying to wean her when she still has this great need. We worked so hard in the beginning to get the nursing to work so part of me doesn't want to let that go.

I am going to try to drop another nursing session this week. Not sure if the morning or nap time session is better, but I imagine either one will be hard. How do I get her to sleep without nursing? I can't rock her without her wanting to nurse. I wish my milk supply would decrease but it's still going strong. If I drop the morning session, I will miss snuggling with her in our bed as she nurses. She's so sweet and still when she nurses! She just looks up at me with her beautiful blue eyes and touches my face so softly.

I am afraid of really hurting her in some way by weaning before she's ready. I don't want her to harbor bad feelings toward me. But part of me feels that it is time, that I want to wean her. I just wish it would be easy. But it's not going to be, so I have to be strong and focused and just do it. But which part of me is right? See, I'm just conflicted in my feelings and it makes it very hard to figure out what is right, what I really want to do. I guess I really just need to pray about this and give it to God, and hopefully that will help me figure this out.

My Chloe Kitty!

2009-06-28T20:14:00.001-05:00

Two of my baby tomatoes!

2009-06-05T14:20:00.001-05:00

My lantana is blooming!

2009-06-05T14:18:00.000-05:00

What is it?

2009-06-01T21:37:00.004-05:00

I am feeling something that I'm not sure what it is. Melancholy? Sadness? Faithless? Something is off but I'm not sure what or what to do about it. Generally things are good. Hubby and I are doing great. Emma is the most wonderful little girl and I love her so much! But I feel...something. Disconnected? I don't know. I do feel behind. Behind in knitting, behind in posting, behind in taking video and pictures of Emma, behind in finding my freaking camera that has been lost for weeks, behind in housework, behind in keeping up with my friends, behind in paying any attention to my kitties. There is just not enough time in the day for everything I want to do. And some things that I have to do take a lot of time, even if I don't want to do them. Sigh.

What an uplifting post huh? The faithless word up there is getting to me. I haven't lost my faith in God, have I? I don't think so. But I sure wonder why such terrible things happen and He lets them. Is it to show us that we could be a better world if we choose to be? That it's up to us? But why us, why doesn't He just make it a better world? What can I do to make it better? I think that's it, I am wondering what I'm supposed to me doing. Is God calling me to do something and I'm just not hearing it? I get so upset reading about terrible things that happen everyday, to people all over the world. To children, to babies, to moms and dads and old people and animals. I suppose I should stop reading them, but I still know they are happening.

I hate this feeling of uncertainty. I really don't like this post much either, but I guess I'll publish it. Maybe I will go read my Bible and it'll make me feel better. But I'll probably just go to bed, after cleaning up the kitchen, scooping the litterbox, and washing Emma's diapers.

17 months old today!

2009-05-28T11:18:00.001-05:00

She likes to wear my big hair clip but not her own little ones. This
morning she put on her croc shoes all by herself.

Emma in the pool!

2009-05-22T20:30:00.001-05:00

She loved it, especially when we took her out of the float and just
held her in the water. She loves to kick her legs in the water!

Emma's kitchen

2009-05-17T15:42:00.000-05:00

Garage Sales!

2009-05-15T14:05:00.002-05:00

I love shopping garage sales! Today I decided to check out a sale that I found listed online. I found two great items for Emma. First, a Little Tikes kitchen, complete with food and dishes! It was only $25 and in very good condition. I also found a Crayola two sided easel, chalkboard on one side and dry erase/magnetic board on the other, for only $15. You can see pictures on our family site, linked on the left.

I have some rearranging to do upstairs before I can set up the kitchen, but I know Emma will love it and get lots of use out of it. I just love garage sales because buying new toys is so expensive. And I feel good that I'm reusing an existing item. It's good for me and the environment!

A Little Gardening

2009-05-05T15:55:00.001-05:00

I just did a little tending to my garden (during Emma's nap of course). My tomato plants were looking a bit yellow but hopefully the nice watering I just gave them will help. I also pulled a lot of weeds and grass out of the bed. My pecan tree has new growth on it, but it's only 3 inches tall so it'll be a long time before I can consider it a successful plant. My fig tree has tiny baby figs on it! I don't know if they'll grow enough to be edible this year but at least I haven't killed it yet!

I really wish we had something in the backyard for Emma to play on. I've been looking on Craigslist and have found a few things, but by the time I contact the seller the item is gone. I've found one little playscape with a slide on Amazon that's only $150, plus tax and shipping. That's about the best deal I've found for something new. I really hope to get something for her soon, so she'll stop playing on the steps. I'm afraid she's going to fall again and hit her head. Or just walk right off the patio.

My fig tree:

Not Me Monday!

2009-05-04T14:38:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

So this is my first Not Me Mondays post, so here goes!

So, a couple of weeks ago, I took Emma to breakfast at Rudy's, for breakfast tacos. We had a good time, and then I totally did not lock her in the car. With my keys. And my cell phone. I did not have to ask a stranger to borrow his phone to call my husband. He totally didn't alert the 8 cops inside of Rudy's eating breakfast that a crazy woman locked her kid and keys in the car. Nope, not me!

Yesterday, Emma and I attended the 100th birthday party of my great-aunt Lil. I totally did not show up with Emma's shoes on the wrong feet. My cousin didn't point this out to me in front of various members of my extended family, all whom didn't laugh at me. Nope, didn't happen!

I do not spend most of Emma's nap watching TV and lamenting about how messy my house is, if I only had time to clean up. I do not spend the rest of Emma's nap eating ice cream, cake, chips, and any other food that I can find. No way, I only eat at meal times people!

That's all for now, see you next Monday when I'll tell you about the other things I don't do!

Lots of Stuff

2009-04-21T13:45:00.002-05:00

I've got so many things on my mind lately. Today is one year since my friend Jamie passed away. She was only 35. We worked together at the Museum and the Capitol and became friends. She left the Capitol in October of 2006, and then of course I got pregnant in April 2007, so we didn't see each other much after that. In fact, I only saw her one other time in 2007. We did keep in touch with MySpace and email, and a few weeks before she died we talked about getting together so she could met Emma. It never happened. She died at her apartment sometime between 11:40pm on 4/20/08 and 12:15am on 4/21/08. She even called 911 but by the time they arrived she was beyond help. I didn't know any of her other friends or family, so I never found out what exactly happened. So I'm thinking of Jamie, and how fragile life is.

I hate to be negative and depressing, but it's my blog and I need to vent. I keep reading about such terrible things happening. Husbands killing their wives and children, a guy drinking and driving a car full of children into a ditch and the children, some babies, drowning while the SOB driving the car gets out! How can he get out of the car but not keep it on the freaking road?? Children going missing, being killed by strangers and even family members. It's horrible and really testing my faith. Why are people so evil? And sorry to be sexist but it seems to be 99% men doing these terrible things. But then we do have the cases of moms killing their children too. So are these people messed up because they weren't treated right as children? How can we stop the cycle?

And now the cat's puking so I need to go clean that. Consider yourself lucky that I didn't have time to finish my whole rant!

My rose bush with lots of blooms!

2009-04-14T20:36:00.001-05:00

My Plant Medley Mix!

2009-03-22T16:40:00.000-05:00

My Lillipoots

2009-03-12T13:52:00.001-05:00

Noah's Baby Blanket

2009-03-12T13:37:00.004-05:00

Last month I finished a baby blanket for my cousin Kelli's first born, a little boy named Noah. I finished the blanket and got it in the mail the day before his due date, and he was right on time! This blanket was done in crochet, and was 27 inches by 24 inches when completed. I used a soft baby blue for a solid color blanket, but then for the border I used a variegated white with green, purple, yellow and blue. I actually did something a little different on the border and was able to give it a bit of body. I hate to use the word ruffle, but that's close. It's just a bit of fluff around the edge. Kelli seems to like it so I am happy it's done. Now I really am going to make a blanket for my Emma. I haven't picked out the yarn yet but I hope to soon. I am excited that I am going to take a little class and learn to knit a baby hat in the round. I'll post pictures when that's done. If I can learn to make a baby hat in a short time frame, then I will still be able to give homemade baby gifts, before the babies aren't babies anymore!

Threesomes (A Survey)

2009-01-23T22:33:00.000-06:00

Here's a fun survey!

Three Names I have been called
Ronda, R2D2, Missy RoRo

Three Jobs I have had in my life
Receptionist, Purchasing Coordinator, Mom

Three Places I have lived
West, Austin, no #3

Three TV Shows that I watch
Battlestar Galactica, LOST, How I Met Your Mother

Three Movies I love
Dances with Wolves, Night Crossing, Gone with the Wind

Three Places I have been
Belize, Washington D.C., San Diego

Three Places I want to go
Greece, England, Hawaii

Three People I talk to regularly
Laura, Tony, my Mom

Three Foods I like to eat
Pizza, Seafood, Italian

Last Three Restaurants I went to
Chuy's, Pei Wei, Fogo de Chao

Three Things I am looking forward to
watching Emma grow, having more kids, one day taking a vacation

Three Things I did today
washed dishes, cleaned cat puke, made dinner

Three Drinks I love
diet Dr Pepper, wine, orange juice

Three Desserts I love
apple pie, chocolate cake, brownies

New Year

2009-01-19T14:03:00.002-06:00

Today I am taking time while Emma naps to write. I'd like to try to blog once a month this year, so we'll see how I do at the end of 2009.

Emma is turning into such a little toddler! Today I grabbed my new iphone to take her picture when she was walking around, carrying a sippy cup in each hand, holding her Winne-the-Pooh birthday balloon (it still has air) and dragging behind her a green balloon she got last week from the grocery store. Unfortunately I did not get a good picture. I am not too happy with the camera on my iphone. If Emma moves even slightly, the picture is a blur and when I snap the camera, it has about a 2 second delay for the picture to take. And Emma is never still for long, so I don't have a lot of good pictures of her. I miss that about my Sprint camera phone. It took ok pictures and fast, without a delay.

Tonight I am going to a knitting gathering of some moms from my Attached Parenting group. We are meeting at this place called the Knitting Nest, were you can bring food and drink and sit around knitting. I hope to finish another baby blanket this week, so this will be a good time to work on it. It'll be a good chance for me to take a break, and give Tony some good time with Emma. Once this blanket is done then I will start on Emma's blanket.

My 9 minute survey

2009-01-11T17:45:00.002-06:00

Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff.

starting time: 5:46pm

Name: Ronda

sisters: 1

brothers: 1

Eye Color: blue

Shoe size: 7

Height: 5' 6"

What are you wearing right now? jeans, socks, ut anthropology tshirt

Where do you live? Austin

Favorite Number: 7

Favorite Drink: diet Dr. Pepper

Favorite Month: October, May

Favorite Breakfast: eggs, waffles, pancakes, bacon, cooked by someone else

***********Have You Ever***********

Broken a bone: no

Been in a police car: no

Been on a plane: Yes

Been in a hot tub: Yes

Swam in the ocean: yes

Fallen asleep in school: Yes

Broken someone’s heart: yes

Cried when someone died?: Yes

Fell off your chair: Yes

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yes

Saved e-mails: Yes

Been cheated on: Yes

***********What is************

Your room like? too much big furniture crammed in, but with a nice new bedspread on the bed.

Whats right beside you? a stack of emma's clean diapers

What is the last thing you ate? tuna steak with baked sweet potato

———————-Ever Had- ————————-

Chicken pox: Yes

Sore throat: Yes

Stitches: Yes

Broken nose: No

————————-Do You————————–

Believe in love at first sight?: Yes

Like picnics: Yes

————————–Who—————————

was the last person you danced with? Tony

last made you smile? Emma

Did you last yell at? Chloe cat

Do you wear contact lenses or glasses? both, mostly contacts

———-Final Questions————-

What are you listening to right now? football playoffs on tv, tony reading to emma.

What did you do today? made lunch, washed dishes, washed clothes, the usual.

Hate someone in your family? no

Good singer: Not really, but i still like to!

Diamond or pearl? diamond

Are you the oldest?: Nope

Indoors or outdoors? indoors

——————Today did you———————-

1. Talk to someone you like? Yes

2. Kiss anyone? yes

3. Get sick? no

4. Sing: no

5. Talk to an ex? no

6. Miss someone: no

7. Eat: Yes

—————-Last person who——————

8. You talked to on the phone? Laura

9. Made you Cry? i don't know

10. Went to the movies with: tony

11. You went to the mall with? tony, last night on our date!

——————Have you——————-

19. Been to Mexico? Yes

20. Been to Canada? no

——————-Random——————–

21. Have a crush on someone: no

22. What books are you reading right now: Nursing Your Growing Toddler.

23. Best feeling in the world: Watching Emma learn new things and getting hugs and kissed from her.

24. Future kids names: this is a touchy subject!

25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No

26. What’s under your bed: a few random cat toys that I can't reach and some ponytail holders.

27. Favorite sport(s) to watch: college football.

28. Favorite location: don't know. not sure I've been there yet.

32. Who do you really hate? i try not to.

33. Do you have a job? yes

35. Ever liked someone you didn’t have a chance with? probably but can't remember.

36. You lonely right now? no

37. What time is it now? 5:55pm

With however long it took you to complete this, post as
“my 9 minute survey"

Emma turns one!

2008-12-28T21:31:00.002-06:00

Today my daughter turned one year old! It's been such a great year! Looking back, I am most thankful for our nursing relationship. In the beginning it was so hard! I had to deal with lots of pain, infections, allergic reactions to medications, clogged ducts, blisters, and more pain. But it has been worth it! I know I am so connected and bonded to Emma because of our nursing, and she is just as connected to me! In the beginning we nursed for immunity and nourishment. Now we also nurse to connect, relax, and bond. I love to look at her sweet face as she nurses and know that I'm not only feeding her, but also giving her so much love. She may be 1 year old, but she is still very young and she needs me, and I think she needs to continue to nurse. I want to continue this part of our relationship too. I want to let her wean gradually, at her own pace, but also within a time frame that I am comfortable with. I know it's just something we will need to work out together.

Happy birthday Emma! You are the light in my life and the center of my heart!

Baby Blanket

2008-11-18T13:18:00.006-06:00

Well I finally finished a baby blanket for a friend who's baby was born in March. I know it's ridiculous that it takes me so long, but I am not very fast with crochet. This blanket measures 26.75 by 29.75 inches. I used a size K hook and I think I started with about 120 stitches. It was so long ago that I started this blanket, it's hard to remember exactly. I hope to get this blanket in the mail tomorrow.

Emma is 10 months old!

2008-10-28T22:08:00.002-05:00

Today Emma is ten months old! She is such a happy baby! She loves to be outside now that the weather has turned so beautiful the last few weeks. She loves to read and she will sit with her books and open them and turn the pages. She talks to the books and her other toys too. She likes to crawl under the kitchen table and hide, and then come crawling out as fast as she can, laughing the whole time. She’s learning to feed herself with her hands, and she prefers that to being fed with a spoon. She’s also now sleeping for 11 hours straight at night!! I never thought that would happen! She is also taking a lot of steps while holding onto the furniture. She says ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ and ‘kidy’, which I think means kitty. I have taught her how to do a back flip off my lap. She loves it! I tell her “want to do a flip?”, and she immediately starts to lean to back. I hold her hands and her legs go over her head and then she hops to the ground! Then she crawls up to my lap and wants to do it again.

I want to take this opportunity to record some of Emma’s nicknames that we have used in the last 10 months. The first one was Baby Poots of course, which our family blog is named after. We also called her Bean Bean before she was born, based on her shape during the first ultrasound. Once she arrived and we named her, Emmerkins became the nickname of choice. And then when we had so many problems learning to breastfeed (both Emma and I) I came up with “Little Miss Milk Maid” and “Little Miss Milky La Rue” to help me get through each feeding session. I know she will love those in about 13 years!

I really liked the “La Rue” and sometimes call her “Emmerkins La Rue”. There are also Emmers and Emmer-fish. I made a whole rhyme for Emmer-fish, she’s my little Emmer-squish, she’s my little Emmer-dish. Then Tony created “Boutros Boutros-Ghali Girl”. I don’t know how he came up with it, but we started singing it to Emma and it would always get a smile and stop the tears. Boutros Boutros-Ghali was the Secretary-General of the UN in the 1990’s. I know it’s weird but it sounds so catchy and it really did make Emma smile. In the first few months of her life she would have very fussy evenings, crying for hours, and singing “Boutros Boutros-Ghali Girl” just worked. I am sure that I am leaving some out, but I’ll include them next time!

Little stressed

2008-10-24T11:39:00.002-05:00

I'm feeling a bit stressed these days. Just lots of things going on and feeling like I don't have time to do everything. Emma is growing so fast that at the end of every day I feel sad, because she's older and that day is gone. I'm sure that this is a normal feeling, and I try to take video and pictures everyday, but sometimes that doesn't happen.

I wish I had time to blog more consistently. I also wish I had more time to knit and crochet. I have a lot of friends and family that are having babies and I want to make gifts but it takes me so long to make a blanket. Oh well I guess I'll keep trying.

I am excited about the holidays coming up. It will be Emma's first Thanksgiving and I think we will have all the family together. Well Emma's waking up from her nap so I have to go!

88

2008-10-18T14:38:00.001-05:00

Today is my Pawpaw Mangrum's birthday. He would have been 88. I always thought he would be the last of my grandparents to pass, since both his parents lived into their 90's. I miss you Pawpaw, Happy Birthday!

Today Tony and I are going to a football game, UT v. Missouri. It's my first game since Emma was born. I am looking forward to it, just a little stressed about leaving Emma. But Tony's parents are here and I know she will be fine, it's just hard for me to leave her, and this will be a long time, about 7 or 8 hours. I hope she does ok with someone else putting her to bed, that will be a new thing. So I am excited and stressed at the same time. But honestly I need the break and I hope that I can just have fun and relax, and not worry about Emma all night!

7 months old today!

2008-07-28T16:09:00.001-05:00

Donna Marie Mangrum, 1924-2008

2008-07-21T09:21:00.001-05:00

Last night my last living grandparent passed away. My Dad's mother, Donna Marie Mangrum, died at about 10:30pm in West, TX. I have been here in West since Saturday afternoon. This is was not unexpected, she has been in declining health for a while and it really went down this month.

I did get to see her and spend a few minutes with her on Saturday and yesterday evening. It is really hard to see her looking not like herself. But I wanted to tell her goodbye and hold her hand and I'm glad that I did.

It has been almost two years since my Pawpaw died, in August 2006. So I am glad that they are together again. Her Alzheimer's Disease had been very bad the last 5 or more years, but when Pawpaw died she really lost her last link with the world, so in a way she has been gone for a while already.

I am feeling a lot of different things. Sadness of course, but also some relief that her struggle is over, and that my Dad, Mom, and the rest of the family can go on and not see her struggling. But also I feel a sense of dread. My grandparents are all gone. Now I have a baby, and some day hopefully more children. So my parents and Tony's parents are now in the grandparent roles. I dread watching them get older, knowing that one day it will be my turn to bury my parents. I truly hope that they all have another 25 or more years left, but we can never know for certain. Ok, I have to stop this line of thinking. Very disturbing and nothing good can come of it.

Goodbye Granny! I know that you are back with Pawpaw, and your mind is whole again! Thank you for all your years of love, encouragement, and support. I'll never forget your pancake breakfasts, and your wild stories of getting married at aged 16! You are a sweet lady, and I'll always love you.

Ho hum - random thoughts

2008-07-15T09:21:00.003-05:00

I really don't have the time to blog anymore like I want too. I only have time now because Emma is napping, but it's very limited, she'll wake up soon. I can blog more at night after she's gone to sleep, but I'm so tired then and it's hard to make coherent thoughts.

My Granny Mangrum is very sick. She's my last grandparent living. But really she's been gone for a while, due to the mental deterioration from that terrible disease that starts with an "A" that I can't spell. She's in the nursing home in West, and since yesterday they put her on oxygen and discontinued her meds, except for painkillers. It will be a blessing when she has passed and is reunited with my Pawpaw. She's been without him for almost 2 years. In 2006 we lost Pawpaw, then last year, 2007, my Granny Peterson. So this year it will be Granny Mangrum. I feel really sad that she didn't get to met my Emma. But I know that all my grandparents are watching out for Emma and she will too.

I've been at home with Emma since mid-April, about 3 months now. I do not regret leaving my job one bit, although I do miss some things about working. Mostly just the time to myself, which I don't get a lot of these days. I also miss going out to lunch and seeing my friends. But I am finding ways to get out and see people now, with Emma. Twice a week I take Emma to Town Lake and walk the trails with another friend and her baby. We do the 3 mile loop in about an hour. It gets me out of the house, exercise, and time to talk with another adult! I also go to a couple of La Leche League meetings 2 times a month, and I've started going to an attached parenting meeting once a month. Attached Parenting is a whole parenting concept I don't know much about it, but I get to see and talk to other parents and there is food at the meetings, so I'm going!

Sometimes I do get frustrated with being at home. I feel that since I'm here I should be able to do so much and have a clean house and dinner cooked, etc. Now, I know that is not possible and that Tony doesn't expect that. But I am sort of an overachiever and I want to be good at my job. I was a good purchaser and now I want to be a good stay at home mom, and I just put too much pressure on myself to do everything, which is just not possible. Even though I know this, part of me still gets down about it. I am harder on myself than anyone else can be. It's just something that I need to accept and go with the flow and relax! Easy for me to say but harder to do.

Emma is 6 months old!

2008-06-28T21:49:00.000-05:00

I almost can’t believe it, but Emma is 6 months old today! She has grown and changed so much! Yesterday was her 6 month doctor visit. She got more vaccinations and an overall check-up. She weighs 20 pounds exactly, and so she’s off the chart for her weight. She’s 26 and ¾ inches tall, which is in the 75 percentile. She’s sitting alone very well, responding to her name, standing with help, and doing all the other developmental milestones for her age.

We do need to start her on some solid foods. So today we fed her rice cereal for the first time. Tony actually did the feeding. Emma wasn’t sure about the cereal. She kept reaching for the spoon and I’m not sure how much food made it to her tummy, but she seemed ok with the concept of eating. We’ll keep it up with the cereal and then in a few days we can introduce something new. I’m thinking of bananas!

First shopping trip to HEB!

2008-06-13T14:16:00.001-05:00

Emma rolls over!

2008-05-21T21:28:00.001-05:00

Well yesterday it finally happened! Emma rolled from her tummy onto her back! I was really lucky and able to get the whole thing on video! It was about 4:30, and we were rested from our busy day of running errands. I had put her on the floor, for some tummy time. She almost immediately started to push up with her left hand and leg, and was teetering on her side. I grabbed the camera and recorded her whole endeavor. It took about 6 or 7 minutes, but she pushed and pushed and finally she pushed her leg and arm at the same time. She was pretty happy about it, and rolled back onto her side. She can’t quite get back to her tummy yet. Today she rolled over a few more times, and I was able to get some of that on video. When I first put on her tummy this afternoon, I ran to move some clothes from the washer to the dryer. When I came back to her, just a few minutes later, she was on her back, smiling up at me! Later, after Tony came home, she rolled over again for him!

Monday, Tuesday...

2008-05-21T21:19:00.001-05:00

I’ve been trying to get a routine established now that I am home with Emma full time. I’ve decided that Mondays are for staying home. I’m not going to make any appointments, run errands, etc., unless absolutely necessary. Mondays are for recovering from the weekend - even stay-at-home moms need that! So on Monday we stayed home, and in our pajamas most of the morning. I did plenty around the house though, and tried to plan our week.

Tuesday is going to be for getting out, running errands, play dates, or appointments. I really over did it yesterday though. We left about 9am, and we were gone all morning, and then went out again after lunch and a short nap for Emma. I didn’t know it was going to reach 101 degrees yesterday! By the end of the afternoon we were both way too hot and tired. So next time I’ll limit my errands to only a few places and try to just get out in the mornings!

First Mother's Day

2008-05-15T10:36:00.003-05:00

Sunday was my first Mother's Day! It was a really great day. We went home to visit my folks on Saturday, and it was nice to be with them. Also my Aunt Connie from Nebraska was in town to visit, so she was able to meet Emma!

Sunday morning I got up at 7 with Emma, but then Tony took over and I went back to bed from 8-10am! It was so nice to get those extra 2 hours! Tony was great and Emma took her bottle like a pro! We had a good lunch with the family and then headed back to Austin in the afternoon.

Tony helped Emma with a special little project for my present. If I ever figure out how to post a picture I'll post it. Then he picked up a great takeout dinner from Carrabba's. It was just a really nice Mother's Day!

Happy Trails! Emma goes north!

2008-05-03T12:36:00.001-05:00

Jamie Rae Kersey

2008-04-23T08:54:00.000-05:00

A good friend, Jamie, passed away suddenly very early Monday morning. I didn't find out until I saw her MySpace page and folks were leaving comments about her passing. She was only 35. It appears she had some type of heart problem. I just can't believe she is gone. We used to work together, and always had so much fun. I'll always remember her giant Diet Coke she had every morning on her desk. She was so full of life, and she lived it to the fullest. I'm so sorry hers was just too short. Her funeral is tomorrow in Waco. I am thinking of going and I will have to take Emma too. I just really want to say goodbye.

Jamie, you were a great friend, a true kindred spirit. I will miss you so much. I know you're up in the stars with God now. Please look down on us sometimes, and know how much we love and miss you.

Notice!

2008-04-04T14:47:00.000-05:00

I did it! I just gave my 2 week notice at work! It was really hard, I was very unsure how my boss would react, but it went ok. She was very supportive and understanding that I want to stay at home with Emma. So April 18th is my last day with the State Preservation Board. After 7 years, it's going to be hard to say goodbye to everyone. But I am so happy in my decision, I know it is the right thing for Emma, and for our family.

Never a Dull Moment!

2008-02-26T20:57:00.001-06:00

last night the upstairs guest toilet overflowed. we didn't realize it until water was pouring out of the ceiling in the pantry/utility room and downstairs bathroom. we used every towel in the house to mop up the water, but we had to call in a company to do the rest, and dry out the carpet and walls and ceiling. what a mess!

we have two dehumidifiers and about 10 high powered fans in the house, both upstairs and downstairs. the poor cats are freaked out and we had to move their litterbox out of the bathroom downstairs. the equipment will be here for 3-5 days, it will take that long to dry out the floors and walls. they had to rip up the carpet in places and are going to have to replace the pad. the water flowed from the bathroom to the north, all the way across Emma's room and partly into our room and the guest bedroom. the guys were here last night for a couple of hours until 11pm. all the excitement overstimulated Emma and she didn't go to bed until 1:30.

the constant droning of the fans and dehumidifier is slowing driving me crazy! i can barely hear the TV or anyone on the phone. since we have such an open floor plan, there really is not a quiet place in the house to go, except my closet! i'm not sure i can take 2 or more days of this!

otherwise it's baby central as usual over here.

Helping Mommy with laundry!

2008-02-22T18:04:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentines Day from Emma Scarlett!

2008-02-14T14:43:00.001-06:00

Emmerkins!!!

2008-02-07T09:05:00.001-06:00

First day home alone with baby

2008-01-21T15:48:00.000-06:00

baby is sleeping.

dishwasher is running.

washing machine is washing, dryer is drying.

kitties have stopped begging for attention and slunk off to nap somewhere.

daddy will be home soon.

mommy is tired.

Update: Week 40

2007-12-26T18:31:00.000-06:00

Had my regular weekly appointment today. No change from last week in dilation or effacement. We are set to induce labor on Friday morning. We have to be at the hospital by 6 am. I'm really nervous about it now, but glad that she will be here in less than 48 hours. I am glad that my doctor will be there. Well I guess by Sunday we'll be at home with a baby!

Baby’s due date: December 25, Christmas Day

2007-12-26T08:18:00.000-06:00

Well, we had a very eventful Christmas, but it did not involve the baby being born. I woke up on Christmas morning at about 1:30am, very sick. I had violent vomiting and barely made it to the bathroom. I’ve never throw up like that before, my whole body was convulsing and shaking. After the first time I left better, and went back to slept. But it wasn’t over. Over the next few hours I was sick again and then the diarrhea started. After about 4 hours of this Tony called the doctor on call and she told us to go ahead and go to the hospital, so they could monitor the baby and give me fluids.

We got there about 6am, and checked in. I was still really sick, but the baby was still doing fine. They strapped two monitors around my waist. The baby’s heartbeat was very good, in the 150’s. They could also tell that I was having very minor contractions. I had wondered about that, because my stomach had been hurting so bad. I just didn’t know if it was contractions or from being sick. These contractions were only lasting about 10-15 seconds, and occurring about every 20-25 minutes. They were probably brought on by my vomiting. I still can’t believe how sick I was and that it didn’t cause my water to break. Once I stopped vomiting the contractions stopped.

I tried some jello and Gatorade, but was not able to keep it down. So they had to give me an IV with fluids and some anti-nausea medicine – Phenergan. I’ve had the Phenergan before, it puts me to sleep like magic. This was at about 8am, and I slept until almost 11. Then I tried more Gatorade, and was able to keep it down. So they let us go home about 11:30am. Then I slept the rest of Christmas day and night. Not exactly what I had in mind for Christmas. I am feeling better today, just really tired. I either had food poisoning or a virus, we don't know what it was. But Tony never got it, thankfully. He was the best in taking care of me and fielding all the calls from family.

This afternoon I go back to my doctor for my regular weekly checkup. Hopefully she will still agree to induce labor on Friday.